Never Enough Music Recommendations Department

Have I mentioned before that you really aught to check out Zeni Geva? Thanks to Alternative Tentacles, you can do so right now. Hop to.

Never Enough Christmas Spirit Department

I just wanted to say, for every one of my loyal weblog readers--yes, you three over there....

Have a holly, jolly CHRISTMAS SUCKS BAH HUMBUG AND SANTA'S GONNA GET IT THIS TIME, FUCKERS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Never Enough Light (ahem) Reading Department

Actually, it's a HUGE book, but Peter McWilliams' book Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do is very much worth reading. Its premise is simple: So called consentual crimes cost the US billions of dollars every year, destroy lives, fill prisons and divert law enforcement from serious felonies, all on the grounds of legislated morality. If you agree that drug usage and prostitution should be legal, you owe it to yourself to get to know the arguments in this book, so that you can use them next time a busy-body starts making ludicrous claims.

Never Enough Purty Pictures Department

Finally, I figured out what I needed to do in order to upload to my Renderosity gallery. You'll be seeing more images soon.

Never Enough Morbid Apparel Department

And it's not even particularly gothy. But I still would like to have one of these t-shirts..

Yes, I'm sick. You knew this already.

Never Enough Embedded MIDIs Rants Department

EUW.

I was just checking out some songs by a Norwegian industrial black metal band called MeZZerschmitt. Apparently they're a collaboration between members of Mayhem and Red Harvest, and sound somewhere between Rammstein and Totenmond. (I kinda wish that they'd come out and state they're anti-Nazi, like Totenmond does, rather than wussing out with an "apolitical" stance, but the music itself is great.)

So while I'm listening to this brutal metal with harsh German lyrics, I find myself browsing the web, and came across the home page of a fellow tranny. And I'm eager to check her out, except for one thing: she has an inline (that is, embedded) MIDI file playing the Peanuts theme. ALL OVER THE METAL I WAS LISTENING TO. And there was no way to turn it off but to close the page.

Do people who use MIDIs in such a fashion--and with no means to turn them off--stop to think for a second that giving a webpage a soundtrack might actually cost them visitors? That perhaps we like to listen to our own music favorites while browsing websites? That using inline MIDIs is an imposition that could well be resented? I can only guess not.

Furthermore, I've noticed that inline MIDIs tend to be most popular with Christian websites. Seriously. Check out my old NutNet site, and search for the phrase "MIDI ALERT." You'll see what I mean.

I will defend only one use of inline MIDIs in a webpage, but only because I'm a SubGenius, and because Ivan Stang uses MIDIs of DEVO, Jimi Hendrix, Captain Beefheart, and other classic superior mutants. But even then, damn it, it'd be nice if you could only turn that shit off and crank your own tunes.

Maybe the time has come to find that switch that turns the audio off in Internet Explorer. But the fact that I need to locate it is... well, kind of absurd, rather like wearing earplugs because your roommate sings show tunes off-key. This sentiment might betray my anarchist leanings, but: There aught to be a law.

Never Enough Crass Materialism Department

After all, a girl's got needs, but it's the wants that really impress. And now you can discreetly get me exactly what I desire by simply visiting one of the links in the Wishlists section, on the left-hand side between the Personal and Photos sections. Make me happy this holiday and you'll get a guaranteed karmic upswing. At least that's what the manual says....

Never Enough Recognition Of GLBT Poverty Department

David Mariner of Temenos asked me to comment on GLBT poverty, in light of PlanetOUT's choice of advertisers who target affluent gays and lesbians. Here is my response:

Being transgendered, like being gay or lesbian or bisexual, is a social stigma. It should be no surprise that large numbers of us live below the poverty line. However, there are no statistics on the scope of the problem in the US. I found a reference to one British Columbia study:

"Although trans people come from all socioeconomic backgrounds, trans communities are disproportionately affected by poverty. In a 1998 province-wide survey of 161 transgendered people, 71% of the participants had incomes below the federal government�s low income cut-off; 38% subsisted on less than $1000/month, with 12% surviving on less than $500/month. Only 29% had monthly incomes of $2000 and greater (Burnham, 1999)."

Speaking anecdotally, I've known dozens of transfolk, in particular those who choose to live full-time in their target gender, who have lived as simply as possible, or lived on public assistance, or tried (rarely successfully) to find employment as a sex worker. I've known transfolk who were fired immediately upon transition, or were harrassed out of a job. I've known transgendered who live in their assigned gender simply out of fear that they'd lose their economic status if they dared transition. Add to this the expenses of hormones, electrolysis, and surgeries, and you have a population of people living on the brink of desperation.

In my own case, I've been unemployed for well over a year. I don't consider myself to be unfairly discriminated against, thanks in part to Seattle's long established anti-discrimination laws and in part to a laissez-faire attitude in the area. Yet my own situation is pretty dire. My partner's income helps, and I am still receiving unemployment benefits, but we're barely scraping by. Right now I'm only paying for hormones and anti-androgens, but at US pharmacy prices that averages to about $120 a month. We've had to rely on the kindness of friends, food banks, and our son's school family advocate to help keep ourselves fed and our bills paid. And my unemployment benefits are running out quickly. If I don't find work soon our situation will get extremely dire. (I have two interviews coming up--more than I've had in a while. WISH ME LUCK!)

And while I'm thinking about my partner, I might add that she works at a homeless women's resource center, and that a large part of its clientele is made up of lesbians. Again, there are no statistics here, but I think it's important to point out.

Another issue I have with PlanetOUT is how much of its advertisements are aimed at the young. This only enforces the affluent stereotype, since GLBT seniors may be more prone to poverty than heterosexual, non-transgendered seniors. In addition, it seems like items like exclusive gay/lesbian holidays, expensive fashions, and designer furniture compete with funding for, say, AIDS research and GLBT political action. The end result is an image of young, "passable", dual-income partners blissfully ignoring reality in favor of their own little slice of Gay Heaven, while the ugly reality is rushed off like homeless people in front of a posh hotel.

I can understand the impulse of "going where the money lies" but, like you, I'm appalled by the way that impulse leads to a denial of GLBT poverty. Keep up the fight, David.

Never Enough Painful Truths Department

Sexism in the Male-to-Female Transsexual is an essay on the denials of what I presume are "secondary" MtF transsexuals, the ones who transition after having attempted to live as male. ("Secondary" refers to the fact that they transition to femalehood after attempting to live as males, usually for 30 years or more, while "primary" transsexuals transition at first opportunity.)

You can read my comments at the end of the essay.

Never Enough Literate Zaftig Trans-lovers Department

I ran across Kythryne Aisling while doing a bit of research on transgender poverty, in an article in which she describes how she came to terms with her second husband's transition into full-time womanhood. Besides being a great writer, she is also musician, web designer, sex educator, and a babe. By all means, check her out!

Never Enough Memorial Photos Department

I have posted grainy photos from the Seattle Day Of Remembrance vigil here. Next time, I will try to use my good camera, rather than settling for a disposable. My apologies for the low quality.

Never Enough Childhood Psychological Trauma Department

Last Saturday, Thea got home from work with an inexplicable craving for ice cream. So we decided to visit a local hand-mixed ice cream emporium, but for fun wanted to keep this fact from our stepson Becklin. To that end, we came up with a cover story about white slavers. Evil, yes. We tried to console him by telling him he could be a cabana boy rather than having to work in the sugar cane fields, but he didn't want any part of THAT, either. Kids these days...! So spoiled! Heh heh heh.... I'm sure he was plenty relieved when we arrived at the ice cream joint, but I must admit, Thea and I had fun while it lasted.

Never Enough Transgender Comics Department

Sadness fills the land as Jeremy, the webcomic about the kid with the heart of gold and the body of criminal parts, comes to a close. He'll be missed. However, I'm proud to announce the addition of two transgender webcomics. The first, Venus Envy, is about a young bisexual MtF and her trials and tribulations as she explores her gender identity and tries to live a normal life in a new town with a crazy lesbian friend, a hostile FtM, a supportive father, a worried mother, and lots of boy interest. So far it's been very funny while touching on many real-life issues transfolk deal with. The second, Lean On Me, started out with a young boy named Yun who liked to dress in feminine clothes and a sweet nerdy girl who adored him for it; the arrival of Jennifer, a new girl in school who turns out to be MtF, helps Yun realize that she is also transsexual. Young transsexual lesbian bliss, mixed in with violence from transphobic classmates, follows. Right now Lean On Me is focusing on Jennifer as she goes to college and deals with the stresses of knowing nearly nobody and worrying about gender prejudice everywhere. I love both strips greatly and can't wait for more.

Never Enough Shed Tears Department

There were, at last count, 87 vigils held yesterday during the Transgender Day Of Remembrance. Most of these were successful at some level. The Seattle vigil had 142 people, both trans and non-trans, as well as representatives from several national and local GLBT organizations. Thea volunteered to light the candles as each of this year's victims had their names read, the crowd intoning "We remember" with each name. It was extremely moving, and I cried more than once.

Next year, I hope to encourage more people, especially the non-transgendered and youth, to attend, so that we can make a more powerful statement about transgender prejudice and hopefully work towards ending such prejudice, so that future Day Of Remembrance events will only commemorate past years' deaths and no longer mourn new ones.

Never Enough Article Writing Department

I co-wrote, with Gwendolyn Anne Smith, an article regarding the Transgender Day Of Remembrance. You can find the article by visiting Temenos, a web site intended to provide a "sacred space" for the GLBT community. A direct link to the article can be found here.

Never Enough Hell-Raising Grannies Department

Doris Haddock's speech on How to Break the American Trance should be printed in every newspaper in the country. Of course, few newspapers will have the guts.

Never Enough Backbone Department

Too many pundits are taking the failure of the Democratic Party in last week's election as a green-light for Bush to continue his policies, especially regarding Iraq and the War On Terrorism. In fact, the few politicians--mostly Democrat--who stood up against the President and voted against war actually got re-elected by handsome margins. It is painfully clear, then, that there is no green-light, and that if more politicians had the courage to say no to war, Bush would be standing on shakier ground.

It's not too late to declare that Bush does not act on behalf of the majority of Americans. To that end, I strongly urge you to visit Not In Our Name, a site that includes a petition against Bush's war policy. If you have a backbone, you can stand against war.

Never Enough Memorials Department
The Transgender Day of Remembrance is only two weeks away, on November 20th. This day is set aside in memory of those who have died due to transphobia--the fear and/or hatred of others due to gender presentation. There has been a 25% increase in reports of transgender-related deaths; this may be due to improved reporting rather than an actual increase in deaths. Furthermore, the victims haven't always been transgendered--one was a partner of a transsexual, and another was simply carrying his wife's purse--and one case was more a matter of willful neglect rather than outright murder. The bottom line is, transphobia affects ALL people, regardless of gender identity, sexuality, race, nationality, or class. Therefore, I strongly recommend finding a DOR vigil near you. (There are dozens of cities in the US, and a few internationally, with vigils planned.) Stand up against senseless violence, and let the world know that transphobia is a tragedy that could affect anyone.

Never Enough Internet Outages Department

Welp, I tried. But when juggling bills during unemployment, sooner or later one will get dropped. In this case, it was my phone/DSL bill. And now I am incommunicado until the middle of next week. YAY ME. Not that I posted here often, but it's not as if I don't do other things online, like posting to alt.slack, moderating a couple of Yahoo! groups, and so forth. Fortunately, I can do all I need to do from the library, or, like I did this morning, from my stepson's school library. The rest can wait until I'm back. In the meantime, I'm actually kind of enjoying the break. So don't pity me anything but the ability to stream MP3s.

*insert piteous sobbing here*

Never Enough Corrections Department

Whoops, I just realized that mentioning "the White House, Congress, and a cabal of neocon fundie dumbwits" (see previous entry below) was redundant. I apologize for the confusion.

Never Enough Worthwhile Flash Animations Department

Most Flash animations annoy me--especially whole sites entirely "powered" by Flash. But sometimes, especially when the Powers That Be talk about something truly stupid, there's one that hits the spot.

(Does anyone, aside from the White House, Congress, and a cabal of neocon fundie dumbwits, actually want war with Iraq?!?)

Never Enough Feminist Backlash Department

Before I continue, I wish to state that I am very much pro-woman. I feel that all humans should have a chance to realize their full potential as they see fit. However, I still have severe issues with the first wave of feminists, and at the risk of oversimplifying, for the following rantlet I shall treat their philosophies and assumptions as feminism in general. Even though many of the second and third waves of feminism see the problems I'm outlaying, the first wave's influence is still great, and it is this that I wish to call attention upon.

Feminism is to gender what Christianity is to spirituality. Both are essentialist dimorphic philosophies which assign to themselves the morally superior position. Both see any variation or contradiction of their essentialist dimorphism as justification of their position, and assign such variations to the morally inferior position without further contemplation. Both have achieved a measure of good for humanity, but at a cost and with such an air of superiority that an inevitable backlash is doomed to occur. Both take the backlash, not as an indication of their errors, but as vindication of their positions. And both fail to create any true advances in humanity because of their refusal to consider alternatives to binary positions.

It should also be noted that many of the first wave of feminists were Christians, thus explaining how easy it is for first-wavers and fundamentalist Christians to join forces against issues such as pornography and transgenderism. It also explains how their respective utopias require punishment for the ones they view as guilty. Finally, it explains why both are doomed to only partially realizing their visions for humanity, given that their positions are based on a fundamentally imbalanced teleology.

So there.

Never Enough Painful Truths Department

And believe me, this HURTS.

Never Enough Spousal Attention Department

This entry is a test to see how long it'll take before my partner Cynthia notices it. This is only a test.

* INSERT HIGH-PITCHED WHINE HERE *

Never Enough Wedding Plugs Department

The webzine Utter Trash recently had an interview with Ivan Stang in which he refers to his part in my marriage to Cynthia: "Last X-Day Drill I got to legally wed two women... legally, because one of them had previously been a man, and still had a male's driver's license." Thanks, Dad.

Never Enough Damn Freedom Department

Susan B. Anthony--what were you thinking?!?

An oligarchy of learning, where the educated govern the ignorant, or even an oligarchy of race, where the Saxon rules the African, might be endured; but this oligarchy of sex ... which ordains all men sovereigns, all women subjects, carries dissension, discord, and rebellion into every home of the nation.

Never Enough Topical 9/11 Comics Department

Already I'm getting sick of all the 9/11 programming on television. And even a couple of my favorite comic strips are on the bandwagon, damn it. Well, here's some topical comics to counterbalance all that:

The K Chronicles by Keith Knight takes a shot at Dubya's posturing towards Iraq; and

Visual Journalism wonders if Dubya was lying or just suffering from bad memory when he claimed he saw the first plane hit the WTC--an event that was never televised.

Never Enough Life Updates Department

OK, all right, so I decided to post an update after all.

First off, I wasn't expecting to enjoy family life as much as I am. For some reason, there was (and remains, albeit weakened) a part of me that was worried about losing independence and privacy. To cast away years of living by myself and take up a wife with a ten year old child, that is a big, brave thing in my book. I think I could've been excused if I had instead run away screaming. But instead, I embraced it. I want a family, especially one where there is a lot of love and joy. And this one is nothing but. Sure, there are moments when things aren't perfect--usually because one or more of us are feeling poorly and acting cranky--but overall I don't think I could ask for a better family life than what I currently have. One thing is certain: I don't feel lonely much anymore, hail Connie.

Tomorrow is our boy's first day at school, and there is a PTSA meeting right after we drop him off. (The PTA here includes students, not just parents and teachers.) This has me going through mixed feelings. On one hand, I'm happy for our child on many levels. This will be his first real chance to make friends in his age group in Seattle; he loves school and loves learning; and frankly, Cynthia and I are looking forward to more private time during the day. On the other hand, I'm nervous about going to the PTSA meeting. This will be the first time I'm going to such a meeting as a parent. That is, as a transsexual lesbian parent. As much as our boy is hoping to make new friends and gain a modicum of acceptance, I'm hoping to make friends and gain some acceptance for myself. Actually, I'd settle for not getting too many stares and nasty looks. But who knows? Maybe I have nothing to really worry about. Still, I remain a touch anxious.

In other news, Dobbs' Long March is in less than two weeks; and I am hoping enough SubGeniuses turn out to make this a successful campout. And progress continues apace on the compilation CD of females in extreme metal. (If you know of a death/black/doom metal band with a woman in a strong position--not a token female plinking on keyboards and trying to sing prettily--click on the "contact me" link above and let me know!) I remain unemployed but haven't given up yet. Maybe it's time for a career change. Besides, tech support sucks.

Never Enough Choice Quotes Department

All right, I haven't posted here much lately. That might change, just because I do have a few updates I'd like to throw out. But I've combined having a life with fighting depression in such a way that posting to my very own blog seems to be a waste of time all too often. Oh well, I'll try. Really.

Author Steve Almond recently posted an article to Alternet called How To Go On A Nationwide Book Tour And Not Get Laid, in which he has some on-target things to say about sex, especially in the context of his recent book tour to promote a volume of short stories with sufficient erotic content. But my favorite quote of his is:

"You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some naked stick figure in lousy mascara."

You'll hear me quoting him often, I'm sure.

Never Enough Calling RIAA's Bluff Department

Remember Janis Ian, the chanteuse of the 60s and 70s who brought hits like "Seventeen" to the world? Well, not only is she still around, but she's weighed in with an incredible article on why the Recording Industry Association of America has their head in the sand regarding the Internet, how their stance is actually hurting the industry and will inevitably lead to a backlash.

And then,, she had the guts to make a modest proposal to release ALL the big record labels' back catalogs on MP3 for a quarter each, to demonstrate once and for all that downloading MP3s can be profitable.

One of the things that Janis Ian pointed out was how Hillary Rosen, president of the RIAA, estimates that "just half" of the CD-Rs bought recently are for pirated music, and how Janis' own CD-R usage makes that figure seem absurd. I'd like to throw in on this matter, myself. I have gone through roughly 300 CD-Rs in the past three years. Out of those, only twelve have MP3s on them. A third of those were purchased legitimately on eMusic; another third were downloaded free and legally from mp3.com or from the artists' websites. Out of the four CD-Rs that DO have "pirated music" on them, the vast majority of the artists have never been released on one of the RIAA's big-five labels or any of their subsidiaries. Furthermore, in the same time period, I have purchased roughly 200 music CDs, mostly because I heard music I liked and wanted to own the CD, thanks to the MP3 format and file-sharing networks.

So, you record industry wanks, put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Never Enough Star Wars Farces Department

Okay, you have probably seen Pulp Phantom by now, but THIS...

FEAR & LOATHING IN MOS EISLEY

...Kicks ASS.

Never Enough Comics Updates Department

I've been getting into a new webcomic, the ever-evil Fetus-X.

I've also been busy having a life, hence the lack of recent updates. But I have a couple ideas for new entries, so keep looking and I'll try to post something new in the next day or two. Really, honest.

Never Enough Cool Music Widgets Department

TwoFiveSix is a website that uses a Shockwave file to translate any other website into music � la Schoenberg. It's pretty cool, and very worth checking out.

Another classic site is the home of the Silophone, which is an abandoned grain silo in Montreal which has exceptional acoustic properties, and therefore has been transformed into an Internet-wired, interactive musical instrument. You can upload your sounds to the Silophone site and then play them through the Silophone!

I wonder if there is a way to merge the Silophone with TwoFiveSix. Hmmmmm...!

Never Enough Queer Christians Department

Oru-out.com is the official website for the gay/lesbian/bi/trans students, faculty, staff, and alumni of--get this--Oral Roberts University.

"...That which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops." -- Luke 12:3 (emphasis added)

Never Enough TG Lawyers Department

It might seem odd that someone who has advocated anarchy might also have something nice to say about any lawyer. But we're not talking about any lawyer--we're talking about Phyllis Randolph Frye, an old friend and fellow Texan, the first out transgendered lawyer in Texas (and I guess first in the world) and a stalwart activist for transgender causes. I have added links to both her personal web page and her law practice in the permanent links section on the left hand side. Those transgendered who feel the need to get thorough, professional, and open-hearted legal advice should seek her out.

Never Enough Horses' Mouths Department

Regular readers of this blog have probably read my rants about the absurdity of the Littleton case in Texas, where a heterosexual marriage was annuled after the husband's death because a San Antonio judge ruled that the wife, a post-op transsexual, was legally male due to chromosones. Never mind that Christie Lee Littleton was never tested for chromosones.

Well, it might behoove us to read Christie Lee's own story, complete with legal updates. It's a heartbreaking story, but one is encouraged by the fact that Christie Lee is still fighting this one. Kick ass, Christie Lee. There are people 100% behind you here--including this partner in a "same-sex" marriage. Give 'em hell!

Never Enough Horses' Mouths Department

Regular readers of this blog have probably read my rants about the absurdity of the Littleton case in Texas, where a heterosexual marriage was annuled after the husband's death because a San Antonio judge ruled that the wife, a post-op transsexual, was legally male due to chromosones. Never mind that Christie Lee Littleton was never tested for chromosones.

Well, it might behoove us to read Christie Lee's own story, complete with legal updates. It's a heartbreaking story, but one is encouraged by the fact that Christie Lee is still fighting this one. Kick ass, Christie Lee. There are people 100% behind you here--including this partner in a "same-sex" marriage. Give 'em hell!

Never Enough Gut Blowouts Department

I just returned from X-Day 5, or XDV as some wags called it. Again, no pleasure saucers, but I ain't giving up! I'm going to KEEP ON PARTYING WITH MY FELLOW RELIGIOUS NUTS UNTIL WE BUST A NUT IN RUPTURE!!!

Well, it wasn't all partying this year, alas. But there was much slack to be had, especially considering that I am now legally married in the eyes of New York State. And not just married, but married to my significantly other Significant Other, St. Thea GirlUWant von Fraumench. And not just married in the state's eyes, but under "Bob"'s leering grin! And with Rev. Ivan Stang, my dear friend and inspiration, as the preacher! And with dozens of Superior Mutants watching and celebrating with us!! And did I mention that I married the ULTIMATE woman for me?!? (Actually, I had mentioned all this BEFORE, on this very blog, so I re-invoke the "Fuck It Principle" and will trust you'll dig in the archives if you are that curious.

Anyhow, here is an excellent stash of XDV photos to gawk at, just as I am now. And don't forget my X-Day Report and list of incomplete but heartfelt thank-yous for my own take on the event. And finally, do check out alt.slack either through your Usenet newsreader or by visiting the Google Usenet Motherlode.

Never Enough Technological Ironies Department

Have you ever noticed that some people will forgive others of an accident that will leave them in a cast for weeks on end, but when they find a bug in their software, will rant and rail as if they were personally attacked?

Just wondering.

Never Enough Job Search Brutality Department

Those of us who are struggling to find decent work in an imploded technical economy NEED this site--fuckthatjob.com, a fellow web log that posts cryptic, poorly written ads offering jobs where one is expected to perform Herculean tasks at Scroogian wages. You go, girl.

Never Enough REAL Gay Pride Department
Alternet has republished a story about Gay Shame, a growing rebellion within the LGBT community, against assimilating so completely with the larger culture that we risk condoning injustice with our silence. This is an issue I have had to reckon with ever since I saw a banner, years ago, with a naked, buff man tastefully covered in a billowing rainbow-colored gauze, ending with a Miller Lite logo. While Miller might not be quite as bad as other corporate sponsors of gay pride events, the impression was made that the LGBT community was willing to prostitute itself in the form of product endorsements for cash.

Politics in LGBT circles have become increasingly watered down, lest people and companies become offended, and too many queer folk turn a blind eye to real issues as a result. But we cannot expect acceptance to come from being non-offensive--there will always be those offended, sometimes to a violent degree, by who and what we are as gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered, intersexed, leatherfolk, and the myriad other sexual and genderal minorities of humanity. Acceptance ultimately must come from dignity coupled with an unwillingness to be trod upon. We must not allow others to sell the soul of the LGBT world for temporary queer chic.

Never Enough Arab Cultural Advances Department

In the wake of the West finally noticing the wave of Wahhabism that is threatening the Islamic world--sometimes interpreted by dumbasses as being the core nature of Islam--Salon.com published an article listing many of the cultural gains that Western society received from Arabs. And I thought I had to do it myself. I'm not a huge fan of salon.com but, in this case, thank you!

Never Enough Transgender Computer Pioneers Department

Scientific American had printed this article a couple of years ago regarding Lynn Conway, who had pioneered techniques that helped launch the VLSI microchip revolution, while dealing with the stigma of a transsexual in the early computer industry. It is thanks to her work that your computer is capable of doing so much, so fast, compared to previous generations of computers. I am also thankful to her for coming out and providing herself as an admirable role model for transgendered people everywhere. Kick butt, Lynn!

Never Enough Warmongering Pussies Department

Thanks to The Bean Magazine there is now a "separated at birth" page that lists Republican hawks who have avoided actual military service at all costs, and the hapless poor soldiers born--more or less--at the same time and in the same town, who didn't dodge the draft, OR the bullet.

Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?

Never Enough Current Comics Links Department

Well, it was time to admit that many of my old favorite webcomics had pretty much petered out. I will continue to watch for comics coming out of hiatus, but it was clear that the time had come for a reorganization of the comics links. As usual, I try to maintain certain standards for art, humor (preferrably a bit on the dark side), and relevance, but ultimately a strip that charms me will win over one that's too ponderous. Hope you enjoy!

Never Enough Heartbreaking Quotes Department

The saddest thing I have ever heard come from a tranny's mouth:

About a Boy Who Isn't ''Yeah, I'm happy, but I always think, Why did God make me like this?'' he says, looking off into the distance. ''Why couldn't he have just made me one way, either a guy or girl? Because I don't feel like a girl at all, but I have a girl's body. I don't understand why God would do that.''

While I have an answer for her, she won't like it. And they wonder why I won't accept Christ as my sole savior. The short duration personal savior concept helped save my sanity at a very early age, praise "Bob."

Never Enough Christian Deconstructionism Department

Just to run it down for you, in case you never thought about it much:

• Among most monotheistic religions, the supreme deity is male.
  
• Among most religions where Abraham is an important character in their histories, believers are told to scorn homosexuality.
  
• Among most Christian sects, Jesus is represented as Caucasian, often with blonde hair and blue eyes, despite the near certainty that any historical Jesus was a Semite without any significant Indo-European genetic stock.
  
• Among most Fundamentalists in America, the saved are rich, a hangover from Calvinist theology which America has never fully shaken off despite its attempts at a just and equal society.
  

No wonder Christians, although told to love all people, act so hateful towards the women, non-whites, queers, and the poor. We're dealing with thousands of years of layered theology geared towards the creation of an elite. And people wonder why I scorn religion. Other than the Church of the SubGenius, of course.

Never Enough Kick-Ass Concerts Department

AH. Here it is, five days after the Mötorhead/Morbid Angel show, and I am fairly certain my hearing has returned to normal. All I know is, from this point on, I will bring earplugs to whatever show I attend. I will also make more of an effort to get into the moshpit, if it isn't too filled with muscled youth full of aggression, like this one was. (And with a much less slippery-wet floor!) I saw the skinheads--nice guys, really--who were in the pit and decided I was better off staying on the edge, occasionally bouncing off a friendly blow, picking up people when they fell down in the pit, and pushing people back into the fracas. One guy got cut on both temples from the sheer insanity. Maybe I'm getting too old and/or too girly for moshing. I got bruised anyhow, but without getting tangled up in bodies. Yay me!

(Readers who don't get into metal much might be tisking such carnage. But anyone who's heeded the call to mosh knows there are few finer experiences than when a driving riff sends you whirlpooling into a sea of bodies, each on their own trajectory while more-or-less following a chaotic spiral round the venue floor, colliding with grins, letting the savagery of the music soak in with each impact, knowing that if you falter the very guy who just slammed into you would not hesitate to stop and pick you up, shake your hand, and then catapult back into the fray. It makes tribal dancing seem dignified, and appeals greatly to those of us who have a bellyful of the hypocrisies of civilization. Such anarchic freedom, but without callousness, is highly refreshing, and the main draw for us life-long metal fans.)

The show opened with Today Is The Day. Originally, the tour included Speedealer, a Dallas band featuring Harden Harrison, formerly of Rigor Mortis. Part of me was let down when Speedealer didn't show up in Seattle, but I wasn't about to let their absence defeat me. So Today Is The Day did their set with a minimal soundcheck, throwing out samples and screams along with growls and tons of hardcore-influenced riffing. By the way, the carrier signal sound a modem makes is really hard on the ears when fed through guitar stacks and amplified through a club's PA system. But I guess that's the nature of today's metalcore bands. Destroy all ears before the main act shows up. All in all, they were pretty good, but not exactly my cup of tea.

During the intermission I went into the club's lounge for a cigarette and a place to sit. Oddly, I got hit on twice while in there. Alas, both times it was by guys. (I should wear something that screams "dyke" to the next show.) The first one was actually pretty cool, as he offered me a beer. I politely declined and he left me to my devices after that. I suspect that he mistook my friendly smile and nod as a come-on, rather than an appreciation for his air drum solo.

But despite the sexual handicap of not being the right gender for my heart or glands, Mr. Beer-And-Drums was Prince Charming in comparison to the second guy. He was dressed like Indy Rock Pete from the online comic Diesel Sweeties, but was big and stocky, and a bit slow. He bummed a cigarette off me then asked if he could sit with me. I pointed out there were no chairs at the table, and he just said "OK"--not noticing that he was standing right next to a vacant chair. I finished my cigarette and told him I was going to wander, so he could have my chair if he wanted. He took the seat, then said, "You know, you don't have to run off because of me." Ah, ya lummox, I'm trying to be nice and you're taking things way too personal. But you know, this IS a show, and I wanted to find a good spot for Morbid Angel's set.

There is apparently a small cult of Morbid Angel fans in Seattle, hopelessly devoted to the band that helped defined, along with Death, Deicide, and Cannibal Corpse, the world renowned Florida death metal scene. They had lined up along the barrier on the front of the stage and the pit area long before Morbid Angel's soundcheck, and were going crazy waiting for the appearance of Morbid Angel frontman and bassist Trey Azagthoth. When they showed up, the moshpit reached its zenith, as flying bodies smashed against each other, desperately trying to embody the exotic brutality of the riffs and the pounding of the drums.

It was a pretty solid show all in all, although Trey seemed annoyed at the lights--he once shouted at the guy in the booth to turn off "those fucking lights" in his face--and on the tiny stage at the Catwalk Morbid Angel seemed almost claustrophobic, but that didn't hurt the ferocity of their set any. Being more a fan of old-school death metal, I shrieked along with "Immortal Rites" and "Chapel Of Ghouls"; I was a tad disappointed that they didn't play "Opening Of The Gates," one of their newer songs and my favorite Morbid Angel song, but since their set was only an hour long I understood, and as far as I was concerned, they were most head-bangingly worthy.

Another intermission, another cigarette, and a bottle of water for rehydration, and I was floating. This time nobody hit on me. Still, reflecting back on it, I have to admit being flattered. I was worried how people might react to a transsexual at a metal concert, but I had no reason to worry at all, as I was ultimately a fellow metal fan. But the crowd was growing even thicker, and the pit was shrinking just because there was far less room. Time for Mötorhead!

There are a number of reasons why Mötorhead is one of the greatest bands ever. For one, they were punk before most punk bands had even formed, presaging even the mighty Ramones, which Mötorhead honored with a cover or two. They were also metal back when most "metal" bands were writing material that'd be comfortably played on any classic rock station in the country. Mötorhead frontsman and bassist Lemmy Kilminster has persued his vision of loud, heavy, blues-and-punk fueled metal for three decades now and shows absolutely no signs of turning down the volume, let alone stopping.

Furthermore, Lemmy is a bass playing GOD, let there be no mistake! While most bass players are most comfortable maintaining rhythm, Lemmy plays his bass with more zest and aplomb than Keith Richards has ever been able to summon in his whole junk-addled life. At the end of the show he held his bass like a rifle, "firing" into the audience note after soul-shaking note, before hanging the bass from one of the club's cables and letting the feedback give all his fans a deep tissue massage of afterworldly proportions.

There wasn't a period of Mötorhead's career that didn't have fair representation in the show, from the early hits "No Class", "Ace Of Spades", "Killed By Death", and "Bomber"; through the Orgasmatron classics "Doctor Rock", "Nothing Up My Sleeve", and "Orgasmatron"; right through more recent tracks like "Overnight Sensation." The only signs of age, if any, were that the band took two breaks, giving themselves and the audience five minutes to take a breath and a smoke, to drink their beers, then jump right back onstage and pummel our ears with their metal blessings.

Lemmy, as always, alternated between savagery and congeniality. One moment he called the audience "pathetic" for not yelling louder; the next he's assuring the crowd, "Don't take me too seriously, you are a great audience!" This works a lot better than the constant patronizing that most bands foist upon the crowd, and helps prove Lemmy and Mötorhead as true legends, cooler than all others, irreplaceable, and damn near immortal. If Mötorhead comes anywhere near your town, ever, GO SEE THEM--and wear earplugs unless you like to hear tinnitus for days on end! You will be grateful for heeding this advice, trust me.

Never Enough Rumsfield Quotes Department

Don't thank me, thank the BBC for their amazing Donald Rumsfeld quote collection.

And to think, this is the guy in charge of the biggest armed forces in the world. On second thought, don't think about it too much, it's scary.

Never Enough Metal Memories Department

I am going to see Mötorhead and Morbid Angel at the Catwalk this coming Tuesday. YAY ME! I'm so excited that I am having trouble sleeping. It's also got me reminising about other metal concerts I've seen over the years. Here's some of the more memorable ones:

Anthrax, Metal Church: Arcadia Theatre, July 11, 1987--My first ever metal concert, after years of listening to metal on the radio and borrowing tapes from friends. Metal Church was pretty good, with crazy versions of "Ton Of Bricks" and "The Dark." Anthrax played a wonderfully loud show, but I realised their appeal would be limited when Joey Belladonna donned a war bonnet and pranced about on stage during "Indians." The hood ornament from my father's Ram Charger got stolen; he was not happy. But that show did make an impression; I'd see more metal concerts in my life, oh yes.

Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken, Metallica, Kingdom Come: Cotton Bowl, July 3, 1988--The last ever Texas Jam, part of the Monsters Of Rock tour, this was the first time I saw Metallica live. Not a bad show, but there was no way I could get close enough to the stage. I got a big toe bloodied trying, and the crowd was so packed near the stage that the crowd would sway as one, literally carrying one off one's feet! I got heat exhaustion half-way through Metallica's mid-day set. Scorpions were good; Sammy Hagar climbed the scaffolding during Van Halen's set and made an impression. I was offered a joint and refused--the guy's girlfriend said she was proud of me. The Metallica t-shirt I bought got stolen before we left. Bummer. All in all, it left a bad taste in my mouth as far as stadium rock went. But the Metallica set was WORTH IT.

Metallica, Queensryche: Reunion Arena, February 5, 1989--I had sworn I'd see this concert for my birthday no matter what--and never mind that Texas got hit by snow, meaning that there'd be ice on the highway for the whole hour-plus ride from East Texas State to Dallas. Queensryche was pretty good but stuck to songs off their Operation: Mindcrime album, never getting to the old classics I liked the best. Metallica put on a tight, heavy concert. Although we were in the nosebleed section, my college buddy and I slammed against one another from the rail, to the annoyance of the late-comer fans but to our delight. Best memory was of the Justice statue crumbling into huge pieces onto the very stage, climaxing when one of the light scaffolds broke free on one end and swung back and forth dramatically. In retrospect, I realise that a LOT of choreography had to go into that to make sure nobody got creamed by a statue head or by the swinging scaffold, but at the time, it blew my mind.

DRI, Nasty Savage, Sick Of It All, Sedition: Theatre Gallery, March 17, 1990--Easily the best show I've seen ever, mainly because it wasn't in a club, stadium, or arena. It was in a warehouse with concrete pipes stacked up on the sides. This provided the best moshpit I've been in, with plenty of room for fast-paced whirlpooling and slamming. I even took a roll at one point and didn't get stomped on. Nice! I caught one of Spike Cassidy's guitar picks at the end of the DRI set. Sick Of It All was brilliant, too. Turner Van Blarcum of Sedition had his bone mike-stand sculpture which got quite a flailing during their energetic set. Alas, what I remember most of Nasty Savage was the way this one middle-aged woman in slut finery sat on the edge of the stage and kept flashing her tits at the lead singer. But damn, this really was one of the finest times I've had at a concert, and it set the standards for all the others since. (BTW, there's a poster for this show online!)

There certainly have been other metal concerts, such as Pantera and Prong, and a Godflesh show, that I'd like to mention, but sleep has finally started to hit me upside the head, and it would probably be wise to take advantage of the drowsiness. Besides, I have to have something to talk about LATER.

Never Enough Reaching Out Department

Excerpted from an e-mail I sent to Abigail Garner of Families Like Mine, a site for families with LGBT parents:

I've long felt that trans liberation movements would fail as long as transgendered persons do not present themselves as being fully human--and this means reaching out to others. Unfortunately, reaching out is fraught with perils.

Transfolk of all genders and originating sexes seem to be polarized in terms of if and how they come out of the closet. Many seek to pass as their presenting gender to such a degree that they become invisible--or "stealth" as many transpeople say. A very small number can, and never have to deal with transphobia as long as they remain in the closet. But sometimes we are outed before we are ready, and the revelation that "she used to be a man" or that "he is really a she" fuels rumors and other abusive actions--including rape, assault, and murder.

On the other end of the spectrum are those whose gender presentation, intentionally or otherwise, draws attention to themselves. They draw a lot of prejudice even among other transfolk and are usually quickly categorized as boisterous even if they try to maintain a low profile. While they may be out of the closet as a matter of expediency, there remains a lot of presumptions behind their motives and self-identity. And of course, they find themselves larger, more obvious targets of transphobia in all its forms.

And yet, in my experience, most people have no intrinsic prejudice against the transgendered--just a lack of experience which leads to misunderstandings. Communication, as always, is key to resolving this lack. This means we transgendered people must not be afraid to make friends outside the transgendered community. We must reach out to all, even those who might consider us enemies. We must show compassion towards their misunderstandings, even as it hurts to face them, so that we may in time resolve those misunderstandings and find compassion in others. Above all, we must not be afraid to show our true face.

Never Enough Blog Updates Department

It looks like the Gallery of Goddesses site--which featured transgendered women as contributors to society in general and included politicians, Olympic athletes, and artists--may not be coming back. This is a great sadness, but hopefully someone will rise to the occasion and create a new resource like this.

I have added two new links to the Gender section:

• The Center for Gender Sanity provides lectures, conferences, and training materials aimed at exploding gender myths on a practical level. Their most visible contributions are resources for transsexuals who transition on the job, and the Full Circle Of Women conference for all who identify as women to explore what it means to be a woman.
  
• The Transfeminist Anthology Project at transfeminism.org is compiling essays on what it means to be transgendered or intersexed and feminist, adding greatly to a debate that has been polarized into pro- and anti-trans feminists, full of over-analyzing and blithe calls for an end to gender in toto.
  

Both resources are full of thoughtful information that I highly recommend considering. Do visit and read these sites!

Never Enough Hoax Exposees Department

It seems that the Objective: Christianity site is a hoax. Damn, and I was hoping....

(C.f. "Never Enough Religious Idiots Department")

Never Enough Prayers For America Department

Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich gave a speech back in February which I consider to be one of the most beautiful, truly patriotic speeches ever given by a politician. It is very much worth reading if you have not done so already.

Never Enough Religious Idiots Department

Is there no end to stupidity disguising itself as religion disguising itself as scientific objectivism? I guess not.

Never Enough Surgical Bluntness Department

My, this article is a refreshing change. I've always hated the notion of having my gender invalidated because of genitalia. And while I have found a surgeon I like, I still detest the notion that I can't be taken seriously as female unless I have a "sex change". Especially given that, as this article points out, courts are starting to use chromosomes as a "true" test of legal sex, and never mind that almost nobody has their sex chromosomes determined anyhow.

(And also never mind that claiming this legal distinction creates FIVE de facto sexes--XX, XY, XXY, XYY, and X0--going from frying pan to fire faster than you can say "scientifically ignorant legal system"!)

Here in the relatively trans-friendly state of Washington, I cannot claim an "F" on my ID without a letter stating that I have completed my genital reassignment surgery and can fool a gynecologist. This strikes me as very odd. Does this mean that every government official has a legal right to know what's between my legs? And why is it so important to know what's between my legs anyhow? Why advertise to the world, "Hey, I have a penis!" or "Behold, my mighty vagina!" in the first place? Are we truly so hung up over genitalia that we cannot have a discourse on gender--a social construct--without checking body parts to know where we all stand?

I have no answers. I wish I did. But I can keep questioning, hoping that others join in the questioning until we get some answers to these dilemmas set up by the uneasy alliance of science and superstition.

Never Enough Trans News Department

Thanks to ButchDykeBoy.com, there is a transgender news resource that appears fairly up-to-date and balanced, with stories to make us cheer as well as cry.

There is also GAIN--Gender Advocacy Internet News--but as far as I know this service has been quiet since October 2000. If that changes, I'll post the news here.

Never Enough Trans Rage Department

In case there are those foolish enough to think my gender rant from the other day (c.f. Never Enough Gender Rants Department, 4/14/02) was nothing more than whiny complaints, let me assure you that the points I raised were valid. However, the general trans situation is actually even worse than I let on; from that perspective one might say I am whining. But you can't make that claim without knowing just how bad it gets. Hopefully these articles from Alternet will help clarify the issues at stake:

Nightmare in Miami--the story behind a Mexican transsexual who applied for asylum, only to be incarcerated... and raped twice.

On the Back of the Bumper--while many gay rights groups give public lip-service to the transgendered, they rarely back trans-inclusive legislation, and this situation is causing ever-growing rifts between gay-rights advocates and trans activists.

Girls Will Be Boys--Women's colleges are grappling with the issue of transgender students, mostly by retrenching themselves in their traditional gender role and causing problems for female-to-male (FtM) transgendered students.

Dicks, Damsels and Dilemmas--A member of the National Organization for Women comes clean about how FtMs are causing complications for feminist theorists.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of New Genitals--a sneering article regarding the decision by the City of San Francisco to cover sexual reassignment surgery as part of their health care coverage for city employees.

And if that isn't sobering enough, there's always the Remembering Our Dead site, which lists a depressingly large, and growing, list of people who died as a result of trans phobia. The worst part is, the list is incomplete and only includes those deaths that can be verified. Imagine how many people were ignored utterly.

Believe me, I might complain about my lot, but ultimately it's only a note in a chorus of growing agitation. You haven't heard the last from us, to be certain. It'll only get louder.

Never Enough Recording Industry Defiance Department

For those of us who see the RIAA and its lobbying efforts as a threat to our liberties--and in some cases, even to our legal livelihoods--there is a web site where we can get our news and rally behind efforts to block unreasonable, ill-conceived laws and the notion that all consumers are criminals. FIGHT TH' POWER, and STUFF!

Never Enough Scientific Criticism Department

Political scientist Børn Lomborg published a book last year called The Skeptical Environmentalist. Sadly, aside from not being an environmentalist--or much of a scientist, it would seem--the book makes huge scientific errors, such as selectively quoting from the body of research in order to bolster weak arguments. Alas, it appears that Lomborg can't handle criticism from real scientists who have been rigorously trained in the scientific method and who have to face intense scrutiny from peer review any time they publish findings. The scary part, however, is that Lomborg's work seems to be accepted without much criticism in other circles, such as in The Environmentalist.

Perhaps Lomborg doesn't realized the dual-edged sword that true skepticism entails. As Robert Oppenheimer put it:

"There is no place for dogma in science. The scientist is free, and must be free to ask any question, to doubt any assertion, to seek for any evidence, to correct any errors."

Lomborg asserts, of course, that he embodies that statement; but it truly appears that he embodies the quote's negative. Maybe if Lomborg actually studied one real science, he might realize how unscientific and ungrounded in reality his own biases, and those of economicists and so-called political scientists, have become. Pity us all if anyone cites Lomberg as a credible source!

Never Enough Gender Rants Department

It annoys me in profound ways when well-meaning women come up to me and say, "Oh, I just love a man in drag!" Most of the time I feel like saying, "That's sweet; I hope you find one some day." Instead, I often find myself explaining the issues behind being a transsexual, in particular:

1. I'm not a man except by technicality, and even THAT is going to change as soon as I raise the $10,000 to do it;
   
2. I'm not "in drag" and have only a tiny bit of common ground with the drag queens they are surely thinking about.
   

One of the complications here is that the transgendered have their own "community" of sorts, with their own language and concepts. For one, we recognize our own gender dysphoria--a deep dissatisfaction and rebellion of the identity versus a socially constructed gender assignment. We transsexuals, crossdressers, and other transgendered certainly didn't ask to be this way, but there's an inward voice that speaks, for some in whispers and others in screams, saying: "That letter on your birth certificate isn't you. And you've got to do something about it." We're thus driven to not just dress in clothes of the so-called opposite sex, but to take on the role of said gender to whatever extent is necessary that the inward voice speaks in more peaceful tones. Someone with experience only with gender norms and maybe a few viewings of Rocky Horror therefore has no concept that, for most of us, "transvestite" and "drag" are slurs. The former is a medical term that has connotations of fetishism which hardly applies; the latter lumps us all with gay men who like to play up the glamorous life now and then as an homage or a parody, but without identifying with the female. Either way, the language does us a disservice.

Speaking of gay men, another major point of contention involves deep confusion between the concepts of sex, gender, and sexual orientation. Sex is what the doctor sees between your legs at birth. (And doctors have been wrong.) Gender is what society tries to saddle us with after sex is determined. And sexual orientation is who you wind up sleeping with, anyway. Granted, there is interplay between the concepts of sex, gender, and sexual orientation, but it would be a grave disservice to confuse the three. Based on my physical characteristics, I am technically male but quickly changing into more and more of a female form; society tried to socialize me as a boy and as a man, but that didn't stick and I am now resocializing as a girl and as a woman; and frankly, women turn me on in ways men simply cannot.

I raise this point because it still amazes me how often my transsexuality gets discounted because I prefer women. Worse, even now I still hear comments like, "If you like guys so much, why not just be gay?" Apparently, some cannot fathom why I would change my sex if I didn't want to sleep with men; I could simply remain male and have sex with women, right? Conversely, if I want to change my sex, I must want to sleep with men, and I could simply remain male and live as a gay man. It's a lose/lose situation; either way, the notion of changing sex gets rubbed out on grounds of sexual orientation. Talking about missing the point.

No matter how one cuts it, I regard myself as female so strongly that I give myself expensive hormone shots and pills to alter my body as well as my emotions, and plan on having my genitals remoulded surgically to match. This isn't a weekend fling; I have changed my name and started living every moment as female as I can, and will do so for the rest of my life. I am going through a profound experience beyond the scope of being "in drag," beyond heterosexuality and homosexuality, beyond static notions of what it is to be a man or to be a woman. My mere existence smashes barriers and thumbs a nose towards those who wish to enforce society's norms. And I don't feel like this is a choice either; the alternative is to have that screaming inner voice drive me to the grave prematurely, and that is simply not an option. No, I have no choice but to be myself, no matter what confusion or discomfort others may have to face. Anything less would be irresponsible to the world, which has labored for centuries under the yoke of Western Society's delusions. I march for freedom, and that, friends, is no drag.

Never Enough Explanations Department

Someone recently asked why all my entries start with "Never Enough" and end with "Department." The first part refers obliquely to the SubGenius teaching, "Too much is always better than not enough." (Of course, they usually forget to mention the other half of that teaching: "But it's almost as bad.") The second part is an homage to MAD Magazine's use of "departments" that usually change from issue to issue. And now you know where I get my warped sense of humor.

Never Enough Shaggs Tributes Department

For those who have listened to the proto-punk badmusic legends The Shaggs, you will undoubtedly love this fictional tribute to The Shaggs drawn by badmusic afficiando Michelle Boulé. Enjoy!

Never Enough Zingers Department

Who would've thought that one of Reagan's old hands would give Dubya such a well-deserved kick in the tuchus?

Speaking to The Los Angeles Times this week about Mr. Bush's floundering, the Reagan administration policy honcho for the Mideast, Geoffrey Kemp, said: "A two-year-old could have seen this crisis coming. And the idea that it could be brushed under the carpet as the administration focused on either Afghanistan or Iraq reflects either appalling arrogance or ignorance."

That's gotta hurt.

Never Enough Trading Cards Department

I'd pay for a set of American Crusade 2001+ cards.

I should have paid for a set of Friendly Dictators cards, though. Oops.

Never Enough Militaristic Criticism Department

I know that weapons have been a theme of the past two blog entries, but bear with me.

Has anyone else noticed the increasing militarization of American culture? It started back in the 80s, when Reagan declared War On Drugs, thus giving police departments the impetus to start getting paramilitary training and ordinance on an unprecedented level. Now it's rare for ANY city, no matter its size or particular social mileau, to not have a sizeable SWAT team.

And now NASA is increasingly bedding itself with the Pentagon, in hopes of securing funds for research projects that will benefit both science and the military. Ultimately such a marriage of convenience will benefit the generals far more than the scientists, and should be shunned. And yet, I fear the trend will be towards an increasing dependence upon the military-industrial complex on the part of space research.

I can't help but to feel this will lead America even further down the path of empire and closer to the nightmare of constantly fighting armed conflicts across the globe in order to insure "security." Fortunately, there was an old general who saw the nightmare clearly, and warned about the chance of that nightmare becoming prophesy:

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.... This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, April 16, 1953

Never Enough Weapon Art Department

An IRC acquaintance of mine wanted to share with me the art of Antonio Riello, who takes weapons and gives them a good dose of fashion sense.

In rebuttal, I had to show him the art of Seattleite Charles Krafft, whose Villa Delirium Delft Works produces, among other things, Delftware china shaped as guns and grenades, all with the trademark delicate blue flowers in the glaze.

Sick fuckers, both of 'em. Then again, so am I--and my acquaintance.

Never Enough Marriage Weapons Department

So my Dearest Cynthia and I will be married together this Summer, and as a result we've been thinking about the ceremony. We don't want anything pricey, of course, but we'd like to add a few things to make it special and personal. And today, I had what I thought was a wonderful idea.

See, many of my friends are what I'd call "paganoid"--if they aren't pagan, they at least prefer a pagan atmosphere over a Christian one. Hence, two different weddings I've attended in recent years have involved the exchanging of swords and daggers. Needless to say, these weapons are a tad phallic, and thus not suitable for lesbians such as Cynthia and myself.

The perfect weapon to exchange, then, would be a double-bladed battle axe, or labrys. "Labrys" means "lip" and is etymologically related to "labia". The head of a labrys resembles a woman's labia, in fact. Because of this, it represents feminine power. Thus, the labrys used to be a sacred weapon to women, thousands of years ago. There were temples to goddesses that had a labrys--up to nine feet tall!--at the gate of the temple. There were also statues of goddesses that wielded a labrys in each hand. In some regions, only women were allowed to wield such a weapon.

Cynthia and I want to exchange these to represent: (a) That we'll protect each other no matter what; (b) that we are sharing in each other's femininty; and (c) that there is nothing wrong with being called a battle-axe. Plus, I'm sure it'll cause a few gasps when we pull these out after exchanging vows.

Never Enough Kick-Ass Trannies Department

...And I mean kick-ass!

A Thai production company will make a film about Thailand's most well-known katoey Parinya Charoenphol, a 20-year-old former Thai male kick boxer who had a sex change operation.

Following the success of the comedy The Iron Ladies (Satree-Lex), the true story of the triumphs of a Thai transvestite volleyball team, a Thai production company will make a film about Parinya Charoenphol - Thailand's most well-known katoey (Thai for transsexual) kickboxer fighting for a sex change.

Never Enough Anti-Racist Hope Department

A recent blurb in Discover magazine led me to look up this scientific paper that documents research on race. To wit, it appears that grouping people by race is a by-product of determining who is on which side. Once other criteria appears, within as little as four minutes the differentiations shift to the new criteria and away from race. The implication is that racism is not ingrained nor permanent, and can be effectively removed by introducing new criteria that group us all together as a group. The bad news, however, is that there seems to be a need for a them in order to embrace a larger us.

Damn hairless monkeys. Gotta have some sort of boogey man.

Never Enough GOP Bluntness Department

With Dubya enjoying an almost supernatural popularity rating, it is becoming clear that the President is becoming cocky, even arrogant. Now the Republicans are noticing, as this NY Times storydemonstrates:

"One of the things the White House will find is that the nature of Congress is not to stand up and applaud every time the White House does something," [Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hastert] said. "Do we need to send a birthday card every time?"

Clearly, Dubya does not seem to think it is important to help the House remain Republican, and to reverse the slim Democrat majority in the Senate. He also seems to forget, despite his popularity, that millions of Americans still remember him as the President who most recently lost the popular vote but won due to the Electorial College. What, does Dubya think he's infallable, like the Pope?

Good work, Dubya! Keep this up and maybe this country will lash out against the entire Republican party, and not just against your Enron-rubbing, Arab-money-grubbing, freedom-eroding Presidency.

Ya dumbass.

Never Enough Lesbian Bemusements Department

For those dykes with a sense of humor, I submit two lovely distractions:

Lesbian--Or German Lady?!?

Mystery Date!

Never Enough Macintosh/Black Metal References Department

From a Wired Magazine article on a couple of guys who turn old Macintosh computer cases into waterpipes:

"The Mac bong is the best thing to have around when you're listening to the first four Burzum albums."

Of course, you should smoke a Pentium to listen to any later Burzum albums, to match the neo-Nazi philosophy said band developed.

Never Enough Alternative News Sources Department

While I enjoy e-mail news bulletins from the New York Times and the BBC, it should be clear that not even these sources can be counted on to give the entire picture. (Brownie points for those who can spot the understatement.) Therefore, I have added a couple more news links to the left hand side of this blog. Both can be counted on to be truly critical--something that we desperately need in this time of easy jingoism.

The first one listed, TomPaine.com, is inspired by the man who wrote the broadsheets titled Common Sense during the American Revolution. It is totally free of advertising and unafraid to broaden debate on the subjects of the day, no matter who it displeases.

The second one, Eat The State, is a weekly newspaper published in Seattle as well as available on the web. Aside from being highly enlightening in ways most news sources fail, it features the sharp tongue of Geov Parrish, who deserves much more support than he normally gets.

By all means, check these sites out when you get sick of the rehashed White House press releases and useless feel-good parroting that passes as "news" in most papers and TV programs. You might walk away even more disgusted, but isn't that better than remaining ignorant? Dittoheads need not reply to that last comment.

Never Enough Attention Department

"Attention, attention must be paid." -- Linda Loman, Death Of A Salesman

As an artist, my biggest fear is in being ignored. Hel, it's my biggest fear, period.

It's easy to think I seek attention as a substitute for love. I never felt like I got enough attention from my mother as a child. But I suspect it's a bit deeper than that.

See, for most of my life, I've been haunted by a feeling of destiny, that my life would at least have something relatively big in it. Sure, from a cosmic perspective, nothing we humans--normal or mutant--do is that big. But that doesn't prevent the creepy feeling that, someway, somehow, I'll wind up doing at least one thing that will really catch attention and at least result in a mention in somebody's history book.

I don't know why I feel this sense of destiny. I don't know if it's misleading, or maybe just a ways off from being fulfulled. All I know is that this feeling drives me nuts, and makes my previous efforts seem futile. If I got more feedback on my art and writing, maybe I'd at least feel like I'm making progress towards that destiny. But this is all speculation.

I'm sure that the Internet doesn't help either. It's such an anonymous medium that, for instance, in the case of this weblog, the best I can do to assure myself anyone reads this is to look at the server log files and see for myself that this page gets visits from others aside from Cynthia (my most loyal fan as well as my wife) and myself. And frankly, I haven't worked up the nerve to do that yet.

If only I had an agent, so I didn't have to worry about the nerve-wrecking aspects of promotion. But at least I do have a few friends who, no matter what, dig my work. And for them, I am ever grateful.

Never Enough Spam Blasting Department

At some point, I found myself unwittingly subscribed to an opt-in spam list. (Funny how "opt-in" is usually done in a furtive way that hides its "voluntary" nature!)

And who should be one of the organizations that bought a copy of this opt-in list?

The Republican Party:

"President Bush and the Republican Party need your support. Sign up today to receive email updates on party activity and important issues that affect our nation. Get involved and make a difference."

Welp, if the generally odious, rape-the-poor and praise-the-Lord flavor of the Republicans didn't get to you, maybe knowing they are a bunch of spammers will.

GRRRRRRRRRR.

Never Enough Pinheads Department

Today's Zippy The Pinhead ties into my post about comics rather nicely, as well as being a parody of what actually happend to this august strip. Read and enjoy!

Never Enough Comics Department

I love comics. It's practically the only part of a given newspaper that I'll read on a regular basis. And a paper's relationship to comic strip art is very telling to me. For instance, note the absence of comic strips in USA Today, combined with its reduction of the news and colorful, nearly data free diagrams and charts. The paper itself is practically a comic strip. Not a very funny one, mind you, and rather stilted on drawing technique, but hey.

Then there's the New York Times. While I do read the New York Times web site on and off, it suffers as a newspaper by trying to be too high-brow and politically minded. This is perfectly reflected in the choice of cartoons it considers "diversions"--mostly single-panel editorial cartoons, with a sole exception--Doonesbury. Predictable, and pitiful.

Comic strips are more than diversions. They are reflections of the world in general. For the comic artist, there is much inspiration in watching people react to current events, listening to their commentary on all sorts of subjects, absorbing cultural references and how they impact everyday lives. Then they have to distill all this into (typically) four daily panels, maybe eight or even twelve on Sundays, AND provide consistent artwork. This requires an incredible amount of discipline, especially if one endeavors to be topical, to consistently tell a story in a tiny amount of space, and to be funny all at the same time.

This is why I'm proud to add a few more entries to the Comics links at the bottom left of this page. The first addition is "Life On Forbez", which is based on the life of a single parent with an only child moving to a complex, multicultural society. Sounds familiar? Of course, in this case, the comic is based on a planet in a galactic civilization filled with mostly humanoid species, but aside from the science fiction angle the story line itself is one that most will recognize easily. I love it.

Next is "Jeremy", the tale of a kid that simply wants to fit in with his classmates in elementary school--another familiar scenario. Except that Jeremy is the latest creation of a modern day Frankenstein, and thus is composed of dead criminal parts. Naturally, his classmates are a bit apprehensive, and Jeremy does often fantasize about rampaging against a society that hates him for what he is. But as anyone who relates to monster movies will point out, most of us go through a stage of not fitting in and wanting to lash out against our lack of acceptance. Ultimately, though, Jeremy is a good kid with a good heart, despite his macabre origins.

Finally, there is Roger Langridge's resurrection and re-interpretation of Fred The Clown, a British comic strip from a century ago focusing on a children's entertainer with bad personal hygiene, a near total lack of intelligence, and a lonely heart. Like many people, however, he's mainly shy but eager to please, and hoping that somehow, despite his personal obstacles, he can find true love. It's one of the funniest comics I've seen in ages and does a wonderful job healing my own heartbreaks, although there are certain story lines which are rather darkly themed.

Have fun!

Never Enough Blasts From The Past Department

Du Merde Se Trouve
A two-man dialogue
(c) 1993 Utopium Enterprizes / Fools' Press


"Man, my life sucks."

"Too bad, but I don't get paid to listen to people's problems."

"No, you get paid to serve them drinks. Speaking of which..."

"Another scotch?"

"Yep. I may be a stinking, moping drunk, but at least I am faithful."

"OK, I give. What are you moping over?"

"Lots of things. Just saw a girl I knew back in junior high. She still thinks I am toady."

"Hey, what can be said? She's not your type if she doesn't like you. Besides, how old are you? Twenty-one? Twenty-two?"

"Twenty-six, and freshly graduated."

"Master's?"

"Bachelor's. Comp sci."

"Ah. Still, you're young. Give it time, you'll find someone."

"No, I won't. I'm too fucked up."

"Gah, what a loser."

"You noticed?"

"You adverise it on a damn highway billboard. In neon green. Hey, I am just trying to get you to see something. It's ugly watching someone who's whipping himself. Nobody wants to deal with it, capiche?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what my last three therapists said."

"OK, fine. Tell me why you think you are such a damn loser."

"You know that girl I told you about?"

"Yeah?"

"Thinking about her... damn my glass is empty."

"That's another two bucks."

"Here. Now... um... oh, yeah. Her. I started thinking about junior high again. That was wretched beyond belief."

"Hey, make that stuff last, I only got a bit left up front."

"You know what really got to me about junior high? My science fair project."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Sure, the jocks beat me up, the cool girls teased me to death, the teachers thought I was scum... But nothing messed me up like that project."

"Uh, ok... I'll take your word for it."

"I mean, I busted ass on that thing for a whole month. I really put a lot of energy into it. It was scientific, and took more energy than sticking a few damn navy beans into a pot of dirt. I took pictures. I kept a diary of the whole thing. I was careful the whole time to make sure everything was good. And I got expelled for it. Damn kids laughed at me. Called me 'shithead'. Ha. Very fucking funny. Can you imagine everyone, even nerds, calling you 'shithead' for two years straight?"

"Bummer... hey, I gotta tend this customer. I'll be right back, ok?"

"Yeah, whatever. I'll just work on my drink. Gah. Maybe you are right. Here I am, twenty-six and still bothered by things that happened... um... thirteen years ago. I probably should just get on with my life. Hell, I've been working on my degree for too long. I'm just putting things off. God damn."

"OK, I am back. So, what was the project about, anyway?"

"'How Long Does It Take For Food To Be Digested'."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I spent my allowance trying out various foods, to see what shows up the best after I shit. Corn worked best. Spent lots of money on film, too. The teachers hated it. I brought it in, with a big smile on my face. I thought it was great. Mrs. Hollingsworth ripped the photos from the display, put them in an envelope she glued shut with the principal's name on it, and sent me to the office. The kids were still laughing when I left. I hate them. Hate them all."

"Hey, tell you what. Here's one more drink. On the house."

"Gee, thanks..."

"Why don't you go down the block towards Allen Boulevard? There's a small massage parlor there...."

"Yeah?"

"Ask for Maggie. She's got great hands. Mind you, she's legit, and if all you get from it is a good massage, you'll be in great shape. But she kinda likes shy, awkward guys. Maybe you'll impress her."

"Think so? Hmm. Here, thanks for the drink. I'll talk to you later. And thanks for the tip."

"My pleasure. Take care."

"See ya."

"Hello, may I please speak to Maggie? This is Don.... Heya, babe... yeah, I know I shouldn't call you at work. But you won't BELIEVE the john coming your way. Get THIS..."

Fin.

Never Enough Usenet History Department

According to Google, this is the very first Usenet post that mentions the Church of the SubGenius.

In contrast, this is most probably my first post. Yay me.

Never Enough Fred The Clown Department

I have a new love: Fred The Clown. Nuff said.

Never Enough Diabolic Definitions Department

Racialist, n. One who wants to have his kike and beat it too.

Eeep.

Never Enough Tranny Music Scandals Department

Thanks to my friend and fellow SubGenius nu-Monet 4.0, I now know about how a transvestite trio called The Sisters beat a pop singer in the Slovenian trials for the Eurosong competition, starting a scandal about votes and rules and whether a nation largely made of Roman Catholics really want to be represented by trannies. Well, tough titty.

Never Enough Sig Quotes Department

For my sig quote collection:

"Why of course the people don't want war... But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger."

-- Hermann Goering At the Nuremberg trials.

Damn, Goering taught us well. Too bad we always blank out on the final exam.

Never Enough Shoes That Fit Department

Nobody who knows me well is surprized to know I collect shoes and boots. But most are in my size. I might grab a pair of cute vintage shoes for someone I know who wears that approximate size, but the only exceptions are a pair of black open-toe velvet stillettos from the 40s, worn with full-fashioned stockings by my mannequin legs, and this odd pair I normally wouldn't have kept. They were fake leather, chunky heeled--at the time, a minus--and were thrown away for no apparent reason. They had no wear, no stains, no flaws other than the few I mentioned. And they weren't really my style. But something compelled me to hold onto them. Considering I was couch-surfing at the time, desperately trying to find an apartment, shoes I couldn't wear and didn't care for much should've been awfully low on my list of things to hold onto. Yet I did.

Last week, Cynthia and I were sorting through the chaotic mess of my room, when she stumbled upon these shoes, and asked about them. I muttered something to the effect of the story above and kept on delving.

She then tried them on. And they fit, perfectly.

And, on her, they are HOT.

Do I really need any more hints that she is The One?!? Not that I am complaining...!

Never Enough Gender Wedgies Department

From today's New York Times, a story on how Enron was mostly men and how a bunch of women were largely responsible for its downfall:

Only 10 years after Mattel put out Teen Talk Barbie whining "Math class is tough," we have women unearthing the Rosetta stone of this indecipherable scandal.

What does this gender schism mean? That men care more about inflating their assets? That women are more caring about colleagues getting shafted?

It is men's worst fear, personally and professionally, that women will pin the sin on them, come "out of the night like a missile and destroy a man," as Alan Simpson said during the Hill-Thomas hearings.

There has been speculation that women are more likely to be whistleblowers ? or tattletales when they are little ? because they are less likely to be members of the club.

Some men suggest that women, with their vast experience with male blarney, are experts at calling guys on it.

At Enron, it was men who came up with complex scams showing there was no limit to the question "How much is enough?" And it was women who raised the simple question, "Why?"

Never Enough Mathematician Monks Department

My friend Rev. Superkate of slackware.com turned me on to this essay, and it just blows me away. In summary: A medieval monk has now two distinct claims to fame in Western Civilisation: He wrote the poem that was turned by Carl Orff into "O Fortuna" (e.g. the main theme from *Excalibur*), and he began work in the 13th Century on probability theory that lead to approximations of Pi and the Mandelbrot set (e.g. a "fractal dragon").

Combine this with the descriptions of a monk's life, and MAN...! Party all night, spend all day coming up with weird mathematics 700 years ahead of its time. Sounds like a better gig than tech support, to be sure.

THE MANDELBROT MONK

Never Enough Beautiful Bible Quotes Department

From How to Fight the Religious Right: A guide to defending yourself against Fundamentalist Christians:

Of course, you can also just quote these two verses one right after the other:

"God is not like men, who lie; He is not a human who changes his mind. Whatever he promises, he does; He speaks and it is done." - Numbers 23:19

"So the Lord changed his mind and did not bring on his people the disaster he threatened." - Exodus 32:14

Owie.

Never Enough Recording Industry Heat Department

Plaintiffs Sought Timeout After Turn in Napster Case

According to transcripts made public today, the judge in the case said on Jan. 16 that she intended to grant a request by Napster to explore whether the record companies might have colluded to prevent Napster and other online music competitors from licensing music to sell on the Internet. The judge, Marilyn Patel of the Federal District Court in Northern California, also said she would allow Napster to explore whether the record companies might not control all the copyrights they claimed to own.

...In other words, there's a big question about whether the record companies can even CLAIM exclusive copyright protection for Internet-distributed music, and their attempts to create alternate venues for online music may prove anti-competitive, thus turning the attention from Napster's "piracy" towards the record company's attempts to stifle competition and innovation. To try to avoid this, the big record companies put their lawsuit against Napster on hold. The joke is on them. HA.

Never Enough Thermal Protection Department

Today's Space.com has a great story on a new system for protecting spacecraft from the blazing heat of re-entry. Called ARMOR after its qualities, it is an Adaptable, Robust, Metallic (and thus cheaper to make than the high-tech ceramic tiles on the Space Shuttle fleet), Operable, and Reuseable system that promises to make space travel more common-place by making it safe at a lower cost.

Research like this is leading the way towards the day when space travel is more commonplace--a day I've been eagerly awaiting for years and years. YAY ME.

Never Enough Stuff To Sell Department

The Fools' Press SuperSquirt Slack Stuff Store is up and fully functional, linking all six of my Fools' Press stores together under one URL. ALSO, since you can shop at multiple CafePress.com stores with one shopping cart, there are links to the new SubGenius Foundation store as well as Dr. Legume's Bazaar Of The Bizarre. Now you have no excuse not to give us ALL money.

Also note that, when I can afford the screen costs, I'll be adding black t-shirts to the selection. (Let me know which designs you prefer in black!)

Never Enough Cold Facts Department

From today's New York Times:

A final Enron Lesson: When business and politics meet, Kenny Boy, it's not a relationship, it's a transaction.

Oooooh.

Never Enough Porn Movie Epiphanies Department

Annie Sprinkle quit porn to become a performance artist. Cosey Fanni Tucci goes from performance art to porn. They should film a lesbian sex scene together some day.

Except--Annie still has her naughty pics up, whereas Cosey just took hers down. I guess bandwidth was a serious problem. Hmmph.

Never Enough Monster Movie Economics Department

AOL in Negotiations to Acquire Red Hat (washingtonpost.com)

To counter Microsoft's desktop hegemony, New York-based AOL Time Warner could use the deal to couple its America Online software, the market leader with more than 33 million Internet subscribers, with Red Hat's operating-system technology, sources said.

The AOL online software, which consumers can install free from the Web or a compact disk, is now designed to run on Microsoft's Windows operating system. But the AOL software could be configured to override Windows and launch a version of Red Hat's Linux operating system, sources said.

...Launch it off what, the CD-ROM? If so... welcome to The Linux That Crawled.

Never Enough New Devil's Dictionary Entries Department

-ism, suffix, used to connotate intellectualized neurosis.

Never Enough Stupid Web Gimmicks Department

Bear in mind, being "stupid" isn't a handicap in my book. "In the heart of every genius lurks a tard yearning to be free," and all that. And besides, I have seen far, far worse wastes of time than Leon's Random Comic Strip Generator.

It'd be especially good if someone with artistic talent would draw a few characters to replace the crappy ones they have now. Since you can contribute, why not?