- $1,000,000,000,000 (yes, one trillion)
- lifetime dictatorship over the GOP--no Republican politican can make any statement without checking with my viziers and voivodes first.
- $1 million/year paychecks for my chief advisors, Suzie Bright and Robert Anton Wilson
- a eco-friendly, sustainably-powered palace next to the Capital Building
- 1000 black metal CDs
- a huge sound system for blasting said CDs at the Capital Building
Pretty humble requests, no?
Update: Apparently Rush Limbaugh agrees. Let me repeat: Rush Limbaugh agrees with Pat Oliphant.
THIS IS A SIGN OF THE ENDTIMES.