It's official; as of about 2 PM Pacific time on December 20, 2001, my legal name has been changed to Lilith Dawn Mitchell. Tomorrow I will go about getting a new Social Security card and a new photo ID. And then the process of informing all my creditors, previous employers, etc. may begin apace.
A right pain in the ass it is, and there will be more challenges to handle to come. And yet, I smile warmly every time I think about this landmark.
I've been quiet to much of the world as of late, and it's mainly because I've been very busy with many new changes in my life. 2001 is definitely proving to be a year of transition, and I'm not just talking about gender.
First off, I was laid off in early November. While I miss the money, I'm fortunate that my unemployment benefits match up to about 75% of my income. If I am frugal, I can survive. I have a year's supply of Delestrogen stock-piled so that is not a concern of mine. My other prescriptions are more worrisome, but I will manage as always.
The layoff allowed me to visit my family in Texas for the first time in seven years, in time for Thanksgiving. The only real rough spots were that my father kept calling me by the male name. But he and I talked more in the few sentences we shared before I left than all we had effectively said to each other in years. I think he understands that I am a much happier person for this, and so he's at least trying to come to terms with my transsexuality.
Grandma Burr said I was pretty.
My mother, my brother Scott, and his wife Joy were great, too. Joy was a bit awkward just because I don't think she had known a transsexual up close before. She called me a transvestite at one point, but that was pure innocence on her part, so I gently corrected her and explained what was entailed in being transsexual. She was curious, of course. But all in all, she lived up to her name.
Joy's sister and her husband were friendly and interested in finding out more about transsexuals. That, and several pints of beer, led to some interesting conversations; the exclamation "NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS?!?"* sticks in my head still. Apparently they were talking about trying to get me to convert to their form of Baptist. Scott quickly filled in that I have already gone through my Fundie trip and got burned on hypocrisy and so isn't particularly interested in church. He sagely didn't mention my being a minister in the Church of the SubGenius.
* Brassard's going rate for SRS, last I checked. A bargain, I told them.
I'm ecstatic about the way my family is adjusting to my gender changes. It feels as if I have a family again. Of course, I was the one who moved away from them, but it felt necessary in order to move forward with my life. But it seems like all will be well in the end, and for that I am so grateful.
I then left Dallas for Columbus to visit with my OTHER family. Yes, and sorry girls, but I'm taken. SMITTEN DUMB, I am, and it's great. For I have found the perfect woman for me. Her name is Cynthia and she's cuddly and she's pervy and she's a SubGenius. And somehow we seem to be staggeringly compatible domestically, emotionally, sexually, and in every other way, and YET have enough healthy differences to help propel us forward. Did I mention she's pervy?
She and I have actually known each other for years, but it wasn't until earlier this year that I sent her to my foolspress.com site. She found my rant on Tummy Liberation and that's when her lesbian side first showed up in my life. I told her a while later that I was transsexual and found out she had a special place in her heart for all trannies, I showed her a personal ad I had written exploring my more dominant, fetishist side, only to find out that the ideal submissive I described matched her nearly perfectly. Then I started introducing her to the metal bands I enjoy, and when I found out used to be a hesher and really loved to listen to metal LOUD, I knew she was the one. Nothing since has changed that impression.
We are currently bound under a one-year Short Duration Marriage (TM) and she permanently wears a collar of some sort, usually a black bead choker to symbolize the recycled rubber collar I presented to her. She gave me a beautiful black and silver leash to go with the collar. We got matching silver rings with black triangles and will probably get something flashier for a permanent wedding ring. And we'll be married legally as soon as I can get work, with a SubGenius wedding at Brushwood and another one in Seattle later on.
This all means:
1) I now have a stepson, a beautiful 10 year old redheaded whiz kid with a mild case of Tourette's, but despite dealing with my own familial insecurities I think he's cool and I hope to be a bigger part of his life in the future.
2) As soon as I find work, we will work towards the Small Move, when she comes to live with me and help find a place where we can make the Big Move and somehow raise a small family of diverse interests without feeling like the Aadams Family or the psychos from the Dan Akroyd/John Belushi sleeper *Neighbors*.
3) I may never be lonely again. We're almost telepathic.
4) The long-distance aspect truly bites. A distance of 2,437 miles and three time zones is pretty formidable. But we shall persevere.
Oh, there's one more thing I should mention. Today I'm going to the court house to finally submit the petition to change my legal name. I will never live part-time again, it is just too painful. The only real problem is I still need electrolysis, but I am planning to use some of my tax refund to get my mouth area cleared, and maybe work on the area where I get the most ingrown hairs and razor burn. Fortunately, the Delestrogen has severely lightened my beard, although there are still stubborn patches. It all goes, but some areas must go sooner. Other than that, I haven't had to act like a man for over a month now, and I am so happy for it.