Friday, August 31, 2001

Never Enough Queer Geeks Department

There's a thread on Geek Culture regarding gay/lesbian/bi/trans geeks. Well, OK, it's mainly about me, damn it, as one of the few who came out and the one who started the thread in the first place. But hopefully it will grow from there.

Never Enough Aggravation Department

For the past several days I have been dealing with a curious phenomenon. Namely, you change a version number and a couple of features of a software package, and once bold techs suddenly start escalating every case because it's "over their head". Even if only 30K of the code in a 5 Mb package is different, they refuse to even look at the case.

This new breed of tech annoys me to no end.

Whatever happened to curiosity, initiative, and critical thinking? Have we really devolved THAT far?

"God made Man, but the Monkey supplied the glue."

Oh well. Two more months of this, and then freedom.

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

Never Enough Template Tinkering Department

I have reverted the template for this blog, somewhat. Mainly, the tinkering I had done was causing HTML errors, apparently, and rather than wading through someone else's code to find what I accidentally deleted, it seemed better to salvage the most important modifications then start anew. If anyone prefers the previous, dark red look, I'll see about retooling the template to reflect that.

Never Enough Baby Doll T-Shirts Department

A not-so-subtle Connieite reference on this t-shirt.... Ooh, I think I know what I'm buying as soon as I have money again.

Never Enough Gender Education Department

I spent the end of my evening arguing with a less than intelligent young man who couldn't understand, as he put it, how pills could turn a man into a woman.

I had spent the evening chatting with my Cynthia and so I was in a rather good mood. I didn't feel like explaining endocrinology, needless to say. He showed no signs of being able to understand anything I did tell him. I felt like saying, "Ignore my dick--I do!" But he wouldn't have been able to understand what I meant by that.

At one point he asked if I was a hooker. Really sophisitcated, huh?

Another suggested that, since I chose to go down this path, I should just take my licks and leave it at that. Right. And if someone decides to beat me up, I should turn the other cheek too, I guess. Except for one thing: I haven't been Christian, or even christian, in ages. So to Hel with that idea; I will defend myself. For, even if certain men view me as a male, I am accepted as female by and large. And I would never allow any female to be attacked by a man for long. Including myself.

And no, I don't see a distinction here between physical and mental attacks. The situation described above was purely mental, but it was an attack--his questions were not intended to get more information, but were all rhetorical; he knew what he thought and wasn't going to be dissuaded by any amount of earnest, rational discussion. (Believe me, I tried!)

So if you're one of those in the take-your-licks school, just remember that the licks can be two-way.

On a much less angry note, if you have a sincere interest in reading a professional's discussion of transgenderism in lay terms, you may be happy to read the following two articles by Dr. Carl Bushong of the Tampa Gender Identity Program:

And finally, if you still don't understand my rage, you may want to look at Remembering Our Dead, a memorial for transgendered and transsexual men and women who died due to ignorance and hatred and then largely forgotten by the rest of the world.

Tuesday, August 28, 2001

Never Enough Dental Hygiene Department

On the plus side, my appointment for a tooth cleaning was pretty cool. I found a dentistry that is really nice towards their transgendered clients and aware of the differences in health care. (For instance, elevated estrogens and progesterones are linked to increased cases of gingivitis and other peridontal diseases.) With all the other problems I have to deal with vis-a-vis being transsexual, it's nice to know that at least my dental care is sensitive to my needs.

There is an article on oral health for women available here.

Now to start flossing more....

Never Enough Mortality Department

I can handle dumb people, if they're not lazy and rude. I can handle lazy people, if they're not dumb and rude. I can even handle rude people, if they're not dumb and lazy.

So why the Hel do I have to deal with so many people who are dumb and lazy and rude?!? And more importantly, how are they managing to breed?!?

I'm waiting for the offices here to be closed by management, and it seems to have stirred up the great unwashed in places where things used to be tidy. And the effect is not unlike that I got from reading Nevil Shute's On The Beach--waiting for the end is always a total fucking bad-ass bummer.

Monday, August 27, 2001

Never Enough Burnout Department

Why am I here, and why am I conscious?!?

Sunday, August 26, 2001

Never Enough Ruptures Department

There's a reason why I still go to X-Day, up in rural New York state. I'm listening to the audio taken off the stage I managed there, and I'm having flashbacks to one of the most wonderful times of my life. It really was beautiful. Screw those who hate the Church, I'm having the greatest time of my life. What was that about not taking a joke, again?

Never Enough Hack Poetry Department

Haiku is a pain.
You have to count syllables;
And that's a right bitch.

Not that I think iambic meter rocks;
It too has known the depths of lameness deep.

Never Enough Metal Department

I've spent the past several days listening to Voivod's fourth album, Dimension Hatröss, a weird otherworldly concept album based in essence on a scientist opening a hole into another universe and jumping in, finding himself in a twisted dystopian universe where primitives consider him a god and yet he is readily captured and manipulated and psychically invaded by "Technocratic Manipuators". In the end, he manages to steal their psychic abilities, cast the parasites out of his mind, and bring forth a quasar to destroy their world. The music was absolutely avant-garde for thrash metal; in many places you can even hear riffing techniques later used by later black and death metal avant-gardists. Technically precise and yet still raw and almost punk-like, it isn't necessarily their most accessible album, but it's really rewarding if you give it a chance.

Anyhow, this is one of the albums that blew my mind the most, while growing up, and it feels good listening to it again. It still manages to tickle that spot.

Soon I will need to write a press release announcing the project of assembling the most extreme female metal musicians onto one compilation. We don't have a name for it yet, but we have an idea who we would like to see on the CD, and we have interest from a few bands as well. More later....

Never Enough Slack Department

September is going to be insane with SubGenius events for me, and it's all slack as far as I am concerned. First, there is Dobbs' Long March SubGenius Retreat, Sept. 14-16, when I will be camping with a couple dozen fellow SubGeniuses from all over the country. And right in the middle of West Seattle, with all Conspiracy comforts a short ride away. Sick, huh?

Then there is the Tampa Bay Devival complete with beach house and some of the best damn preachers in all SubGeniusdom. And my rant this year is guaranteed to be the best goddamn rant you ever heard. If you're within driving distance of Tampa, check it out or kill me.

Never Enough Boots Department

My boot collection continues its mad surge forward, claiming closet space and seeking additional locations to over-run. The most recent attack was most formidable. First, a pair of Brasilian boots in well polished smooth-grained black leather, styled similar to riding boots but without bootstraps due to the placement of a zipper... rather neat and even "fascist" looking... made, appropriately enough, by Coup d'État Ltd. Second, a pair of black rough-grained garment leather thigh-highs with a nearly flat sole, zips at the ankle to facilitate their pulling on and off, and a nice nylon lining to boot. Absolutely comfortable to wear, if a bit big of foot--I had to order a 13 M to ensure it'd be wide enough for my foot. EEP.

Including my paratrooper boots w/ side zip, my stilletto bitch goddess boots, my knee-high flat-soled "pirate" boots, my granny boots, and my day-to-day ankle boots, that brings the leather boots up to seven. Then there's the couple pairs of vinyl ones, the fake suede ones, etc. Those don't count.

Never Enough Love Department

Funny how popular one gets if one posts a picture wearing a pair of boots and a lacy black dress on Yahoo! And it doesn't seem to matter if I make fairly clear I'm almost entirely into women, as most of the instant messages I get are from horny guys wanting me to... to do things to them.

Don't get me wrong. I like things. Things are stuff, and stuff is good, and stuff.

It's mainly that I prefer the shape and smell of a woman. I like where and how they are turned on, which is not always near their crotch. I like the softness of their body hair and the sound of their voices when aroused. Men almost never appeal to me on these sorts of levels. There are exceptions, especially if the exceptions look exceptionally cute crossdressed, but I'm not seeking a guy to make into a forced-feminized sissy slave, HONEST. I don't have the closet space anyhow; I collect boots, remember?

And besides, I have a girlfriend. A wonderful girlfriend, indeed, that shall soon wear my collar.

For the uninitiated, I should state there's a monosyllabic interjection I like to use now and then: "HNEE". It's the nasal sound a pervert makes, and it's pronounced "hneeeeee". Think Peter Lorre having a brain spasm over Lauren Bacall's rear view. Think phone calls late at night from asthmatic insomniacs with an obsession for bedsheet stains. Think hnee. Then knock it off, you're starting to creep me out.


Friday, August 24, 2001

Welcome to my blog. I'm a 31 year old male-to-female transsexual leatherdyke metalhead SubGenius computer geek. (And that's just covering the main interests!) I strongly recommend visiting some of my other sites, starting with my archive of writings and art at I've also got rants and other audio of my making on If you're into metal, check out Lilith's Hymns To The Dusk, my personal station; also feel free to visit my tributes to Texas metal and women in extreme metal. I have a Yahoo! Club if you're feeling interactive, as well. And finally, if you're a SubGenius, especially in the Seattle area, I invite you to visit the web site of the Seattle SubGenius Union of Clenches & Crackpots.