Saturday, March 30, 2002

Never Enough Kick-Ass Trannies Department

...And I mean kick-ass!

A Thai production company will make a film about Thailand's most well-known katoey Parinya Charoenphol, a 20-year-old former Thai male kick boxer who had a sex change operation.

Following the success of the comedy The Iron Ladies (Satree-Lex), the true story of the triumphs of a Thai transvestite volleyball team, a Thai production company will make a film about Parinya Charoenphol - Thailand's most well-known katoey (Thai for transsexual) kickboxer fighting for a sex change.


Friday, March 29, 2002

Never Enough Anti-Racist Hope Department

A recent blurb in Discover magazine led me to look up this scientific paper that documents research on race. To wit, it appears that grouping people by race is a by-product of determining who is on which side. Once other criteria appears, within as little as four minutes the differentiations shift to the new criteria and away from race. The implication is that racism is not ingrained nor permanent, and can be effectively removed by introducing new criteria that group us all together as a group. The bad news, however, is that there seems to be a need for a them in order to embrace a larger us.

Damn hairless monkeys. Gotta have some sort of boogey man.


Never Enough GOP Bluntness Department

With Dubya enjoying an almost supernatural popularity rating, it is becoming clear that the President is becoming cocky, even arrogant. Now the Republicans are noticing, as this NY Times storydemonstrates:

"One of the things the White House will find is that the nature of Congress is not to stand up and applaud every time the White House does something," [Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hastert] said. "Do we need to send a birthday card every time?"

Clearly, Dubya does not seem to think it is important to help the House remain Republican, and to reverse the slim Democrat majority in the Senate. He also seems to forget, despite his popularity, that millions of Americans still remember him as the President who most recently lost the popular vote but won due to the Electorial College. What, does Dubya think he's infallable, like the Pope?

Good work, Dubya! Keep this up and maybe this country will lash out against the entire Republican party, and not just against your Enron-rubbing, Arab-money-grubbing, freedom-eroding Presidency.

Ya dumbass.


Sunday, March 24, 2002

Never Enough Lesbian Bemusements Department

For those dykes with a sense of humor, I submit two lovely distractions:

Lesbian--Or German Lady?!?

Mystery Date!


Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Never Enough Macintosh/Black Metal References Department

From a Wired Magazine article on a couple of guys who turn old Macintosh computer cases into waterpipes:

"The Mac bong is the best thing to have around when you're listening to the first four Burzum albums."

Of course, you should smoke a Pentium to listen to any later Burzum albums, to match the neo-Nazi philosophy said band developed.


Never Enough Alternative News Sources Department

While I enjoy e-mail news bulletins from the New York Times and the BBC, it should be clear that not even these sources can be counted on to give the entire picture. (Brownie points for those who can spot the understatement.) Therefore, I have added a couple more news links to the left hand side of this blog. Both can be counted on to be truly critical--something that we desperately need in this time of easy jingoism.

The first one listed, TomPaine.com, is inspired by the man who wrote the broadsheets titled Common Sense during the American Revolution. It is totally free of advertising and unafraid to broaden debate on the subjects of the day, no matter who it displeases.

The second one, Eat The State, is a weekly newspaper published in Seattle as well as available on the web. Aside from being highly enlightening in ways most news sources fail, it features the sharp tongue of Geov Parrish, who deserves much more support than he normally gets.

By all means, check these sites out when you get sick of the rehashed White House press releases and useless feel-good parroting that passes as "news" in most papers and TV programs. You might walk away even more disgusted, but isn't that better than remaining ignorant? Dittoheads need not reply to that last comment.


Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Never Enough Attention Department

"Attention, attention must be paid." -- Linda Loman, Death Of A Salesman

As an artist, my biggest fear is in being ignored. Hel, it's my biggest fear, period.

It's easy to think I seek attention as a substitute for love. I never felt like I got enough attention from my mother as a child. But I suspect it's a bit deeper than that.

See, for most of my life, I've been haunted by a feeling of destiny, that my life would at least have something relatively big in it. Sure, from a cosmic perspective, nothing we humans--normal or mutant--do is that big. But that doesn't prevent the creepy feeling that, someway, somehow, I'll wind up doing at least one thing that will really catch attention and at least result in a mention in somebody's history book.

I don't know why I feel this sense of destiny. I don't know if it's misleading, or maybe just a ways off from being fulfulled. All I know is that this feeling drives me nuts, and makes my previous efforts seem futile. If I got more feedback on my art and writing, maybe I'd at least feel like I'm making progress towards that destiny. But this is all speculation.

I'm sure that the Internet doesn't help either. It's such an anonymous medium that, for instance, in the case of this weblog, the best I can do to assure myself anyone reads this is to look at the server log files and see for myself that this page gets visits from others aside from Cynthia (my most loyal fan as well as my wife) and myself. And frankly, I haven't worked up the nerve to do that yet.

If only I had an agent, so I didn't have to worry about the nerve-wrecking aspects of promotion. But at least I do have a few friends who, no matter what, dig my work. And for them, I am ever grateful.


Sunday, March 17, 2002

Never Enough Spam Blasting Department

At some point, I found myself unwittingly subscribed to an opt-in spam list. (Funny how "opt-in" is usually done in a furtive way that hides its "voluntary" nature!)

And who should be one of the organizations that bought a copy of this opt-in list?

The Republican Party:

"President Bush and the Republican Party need your support. Sign up today to receive email updates on party activity and important issues that affect our nation. Get involved and make a difference."

Welp, if the generally odious, rape-the-poor and praise-the-Lord flavor of the Republicans didn't get to you, maybe knowing they are a bunch of spammers will.

GRRRRRRRRRR.


Wednesday, March 13, 2002

Never Enough Pinheads Department

Today's Zippy The Pinhead ties into my post about comics rather nicely, as well as being a parody of what actually happend to this august strip. Read and enjoy!


Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Never Enough Comics Department

I love comics. It's practically the only part of a given newspaper that I'll read on a regular basis. And a paper's relationship to comic strip art is very telling to me. For instance, note the absence of comic strips in USA Today, combined with its reduction of the news and colorful, nearly data free diagrams and charts. The paper itself is practically a comic strip. Not a very funny one, mind you, and rather stilted on drawing technique, but hey.

Then there's the New York Times. While I do read the New York Times web site on and off, it suffers as a newspaper by trying to be too high-brow and politically minded. This is perfectly reflected in the choice of cartoons it considers "diversions"--mostly single-panel editorial cartoons, with a sole exception--Doonesbury. Predictable, and pitiful.

Comic strips are more than diversions. They are reflections of the world in general. For the comic artist, there is much inspiration in watching people react to current events, listening to their commentary on all sorts of subjects, absorbing cultural references and how they impact everyday lives. Then they have to distill all this into (typically) four daily panels, maybe eight or even twelve on Sundays, AND provide consistent artwork. This requires an incredible amount of discipline, especially if one endeavors to be topical, to consistently tell a story in a tiny amount of space, and to be funny all at the same time.

This is why I'm proud to add a few more entries to the Comics links at the bottom left of this page. The first addition is "Life On Forbez", which is based on the life of a single parent with an only child moving to a complex, multicultural society. Sounds familiar? Of course, in this case, the comic is based on a planet in a galactic civilization filled with mostly humanoid species, but aside from the science fiction angle the story line itself is one that most will recognize easily. I love it.

Next is "Jeremy", the tale of a kid that simply wants to fit in with his classmates in elementary school--another familiar scenario. Except that Jeremy is the latest creation of a modern day Frankenstein, and thus is composed of dead criminal parts. Naturally, his classmates are a bit apprehensive, and Jeremy does often fantasize about rampaging against a society that hates him for what he is. But as anyone who relates to monster movies will point out, most of us go through a stage of not fitting in and wanting to lash out against our lack of acceptance. Ultimately, though, Jeremy is a good kid with a good heart, despite his macabre origins.

Finally, there is Roger Langridge's resurrection and re-interpretation of Fred The Clown, a British comic strip from a century ago focusing on a children's entertainer with bad personal hygiene, a near total lack of intelligence, and a lonely heart. Like many people, however, he's mainly shy but eager to please, and hoping that somehow, despite his personal obstacles, he can find true love. It's one of the funniest comics I've seen in ages and does a wonderful job healing my own heartbreaks, although there are certain story lines which are rather darkly themed.

Have fun!



Sunday, March 10, 2002

Never Enough Blasts From The Past Department

Du Merde Se Trouve
A two-man dialogue
(c) 1993 Utopium Enterprizes / Fools' Press


"Man, my life sucks."

"Too bad, but I don't get paid to listen to people's problems."

"No, you get paid to serve them drinks. Speaking of which..."

"Another scotch?"

"Yep. I may be a stinking, moping drunk, but at least I am faithful."

"OK, I give. What are you moping over?"

"Lots of things. Just saw a girl I knew back in junior high. She still thinks I am toady."

"Hey, what can be said? She's not your type if she doesn't like you. Besides, how old are you? Twenty-one? Twenty-two?"

"Twenty-six, and freshly graduated."

"Master's?"

"Bachelor's. Comp sci."

"Ah. Still, you're young. Give it time, you'll find someone."

"No, I won't. I'm too fucked up."

"Gah, what a loser."

"You noticed?"

"You adverise it on a damn highway billboard. In neon green. Hey, I am just trying to get you to see something. It's ugly watching someone who's whipping himself. Nobody wants to deal with it, capiche?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what my last three therapists said."

"OK, fine. Tell me why you think you are such a damn loser."

"You know that girl I told you about?"

"Yeah?"

"Thinking about her... damn my glass is empty."

"That's another two bucks."

"Here. Now... um... oh, yeah. Her. I started thinking about junior high again. That was wretched beyond belief."

"Hey, make that stuff last, I only got a bit left up front."

"You know what really got to me about junior high? My science fair project."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Sure, the jocks beat me up, the cool girls teased me to death, the teachers thought I was scum... But nothing messed me up like that project."

"Uh, ok... I'll take your word for it."

"I mean, I busted ass on that thing for a whole month. I really put a lot of energy into it. It was scientific, and took more energy than sticking a few damn navy beans into a pot of dirt. I took pictures. I kept a diary of the whole thing. I was careful the whole time to make sure everything was good. And I got expelled for it. Damn kids laughed at me. Called me 'shithead'. Ha. Very fucking funny. Can you imagine everyone, even nerds, calling you 'shithead' for two years straight?"

"Bummer... hey, I gotta tend this customer. I'll be right back, ok?"

"Yeah, whatever. I'll just work on my drink. Gah. Maybe you are right. Here I am, twenty-six and still bothered by things that happened... um... thirteen years ago. I probably should just get on with my life. Hell, I've been working on my degree for too long. I'm just putting things off. God damn."

"OK, I am back. So, what was the project about, anyway?"

"'How Long Does It Take For Food To Be Digested'."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I spent my allowance trying out various foods, to see what shows up the best after I shit. Corn worked best. Spent lots of money on film, too. The teachers hated it. I brought it in, with a big smile on my face. I thought it was great. Mrs. Hollingsworth ripped the photos from the display, put them in an envelope she glued shut with the principal's name on it, and sent me to the office. The kids were still laughing when I left. I hate them. Hate them all."

"Hey, tell you what. Here's one more drink. On the house."

"Gee, thanks..."

"Why don't you go down the block towards Allen Boulevard? There's a small massage parlor there...."

"Yeah?"

"Ask for Maggie. She's got great hands. Mind you, she's legit, and if all you get from it is a good massage, you'll be in great shape. But she kinda likes shy, awkward guys. Maybe you'll impress her."

"Think so? Hmm. Here, thanks for the drink. I'll talk to you later. And thanks for the tip."

"My pleasure. Take care."

"See ya."

"Hello, may I please speak to Maggie? This is Don.... Heya, babe... yeah, I know I shouldn't call you at work. But you won't BELIEVE the john coming your way. Get THIS..."

Fin.


Never Enough Usenet History Department

According to Google, this is the very first Usenet post that mentions the Church of the SubGenius.

In contrast, this is most probably my first post. Yay me.


Friday, March 08, 2002

Never Enough Fred The Clown Department

I have a new love: Fred The Clown. Nuff said.


Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Never Enough Diabolic Definitions Department

Racialist, n. One who wants to have his kike and beat it too.

Eeep.



Friday, March 01, 2002

Never Enough Tranny Music Scandals Department

Thanks to my friend and fellow SubGenius nu-Monet 4.0, I now know about how a transvestite trio called The Sisters beat a pop singer in the Slovenian trials for the Eurosong competition, starting a scandal about votes and rules and whether a nation largely made of Roman Catholics really want to be represented by trannies. Well, tough titty.