Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Never Enough Prostitution Insights Department

I'm glad that Pat Oliphant noticed the parallel between the GOP's growing prostitution scandal, and the GOP's answering high gas prices with $100 checks. They really do think everything is for sale, don't they? Well, who am I to shatter their illusions? OK, Republicans: My vote is for sale. Here are my terms:
  • $1,000,000,000,000 (yes, one trillion)

  • lifetime dictatorship over the GOP--no Republican politican can make any statement without checking with my viziers and voivodes first.

  • $1 million/year paychecks for my chief advisors, Suzie Bright and Robert Anton Wilson

  • a eco-friendly, sustainably-powered palace next to the Capital Building

  • 1000 black metal CDs

  • a huge sound system for blasting said CDs at the Capital Building

Pretty humble requests, no?


Update: Apparently Rush Limbaugh agrees. Let me repeat: Rush Limbaugh agrees with Pat Oliphant.


THIS IS A SIGN OF THE ENDTIMES.

4 comments:

Spc. Freeman said...

Since this involves a prositution scandal, I think in your place I'd be petitioning for favors of oral sex from the various Senators involved. And no, not from the call girls they hire. I mean oral sex FROM Bill Frist, FROM Lindsey Graham, FROM Pat Roberts. Imagine the looks on their faces.

*Pretends to grin evilly, blow a kiss in the face of a stunned Senator* "Pucker up, suga. I'm gon' call you Sally now."

Too much?

Anonymous said...

Why would the republicans want you?

Popess Lilith said...

That's my whole point. Republicans seem to think votes are for sale. Well, they can't afford my price.

Anonymous said...
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