Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Never Enough Prostitution Insights Department

I'm glad that Pat Oliphant noticed the parallel between the GOP's growing prostitution scandal, and the GOP's answering high gas prices with $100 checks. They really do think everything is for sale, don't they? Well, who am I to shatter their illusions? OK, Republicans: My vote is for sale. Here are my terms:
  • $1,000,000,000,000 (yes, one trillion)

  • lifetime dictatorship over the GOP--no Republican politican can make any statement without checking with my viziers and voivodes first.

  • $1 million/year paychecks for my chief advisors, Suzie Bright and Robert Anton Wilson

  • a eco-friendly, sustainably-powered palace next to the Capital Building

  • 1000 black metal CDs

  • a huge sound system for blasting said CDs at the Capital Building

Pretty humble requests, no?


Update: Apparently Rush Limbaugh agrees. Let me repeat: Rush Limbaugh agrees with Pat Oliphant.


THIS IS A SIGN OF THE ENDTIMES.

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4 comments:

Milo said...

Since this involves a prositution scandal, I think in your place I'd be petitioning for favors of oral sex from the various Senators involved. And no, not from the call girls they hire. I mean oral sex FROM Bill Frist, FROM Lindsey Graham, FROM Pat Roberts. Imagine the looks on their faces.

*Pretends to grin evilly, blow a kiss in the face of a stunned Senator* "Pucker up, suga. I'm gon' call you Sally now."

Too much?

7:05 AM
Anonymous said...

Why would the republicans want you?

5:03 PM
Unknown said...

That's my whole point. Republicans seem to think votes are for sale. Well, they can't afford my price.

7:36 PM
Anonymous said...
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5:48 AM

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