Never Enough Prostitution Insights Department

I'm glad that Pat Oliphant noticed the parallel between the GOP's growing prostitution scandal, and the GOP's answering high gas prices with $100 checks. They really do think everything is for sale, don't they? Well, who am I to shatter their illusions? OK, Republicans: My vote is for sale. Here are my terms:

• $1,000,000,000,000 (yes, one trillion)


• lifetime dictatorship over the GOP--no Republican politican can make any statement without checking with my viziers and voivodes first.


• $1 million/year paychecks for my chief advisors, Suzie Bright and Robert Anton Wilson


• a eco-friendly, sustainably-powered palace next to the Capital Building


• 1000 black metal CDs


• a huge sound system for blasting said CDs at the Capital Building

Pretty humble requests, no?

Update: Apparently Rush Limbaugh agrees. Let me repeat: Rush Limbaugh agrees with Pat Oliphant.

THIS IS A SIGN OF THE ENDTIMES.