Never Enough Repeats Department

In The Beginning And Stuff (5/6/01)


"Look everybody! Look! I've done it!"

"Done what?"

"I... have created... THE PERFECT MAN!"

"The perfect WHAT?"

"The perfect MAN! Look! Ain't that just perfect? Look at him, he's gorgeous!"

"Now why the hell would you do a thing like that?"

"I keep on telling you guys, I'm the supreme creator! Well, this proves it! Look at him, damn it! Look!"

"I'm looking. What's that dangly thing?"

"What dangly thing? You mean the penis? I paid special attention on making it the envy and pride of all..."

"No, no, not the drain for that bladder above it, the one over there... on the end of this muscular tube...."

"That? Uh, the, uh, appendix."

"What does it do? It looks kinda useless there. Not that much of this seems useful to me."

"I work in mysterious ways. You wouldn't understand."

"It's just a bit of useless gristle. It doesn't even anchor that tubing there. And what is up with all this tubing, and why is it so gnarled up like that? Looks rather uncomfortable to me."

"Digestion. It eats to survive."

"Can't be all that efficient, if you need that much tubing to digest it... and for that matter, is that why there's an EXIT? So it can POLLUTE? I bet it stinks. You have this thing for stink...."

"NO! That's fuel for the PLANTS!"

"...Plants?"

"Come with me, I'll show you."

"Forget it. I've got other things to do. The Elohim are throwing another party... I hear it's divine. You should come with me! You could use a chance to relax...."

"WORSHIP HIM."

"Excuse me?"

"WORSHIP HIM. HE IS MY SON, AND I AM THE CREATOR OF ALL THAT..."

"Not again...."

"SATAN! Please, I need you to get behind Me on this one! I know it sounds crazy, but I remember it all. There I was, in the void, and I said, 'I want some light,' and THERE IT WAS!"

"For the last time, YOU WERE BEING BORN. You didn't create anything then, we created YOU! Come off it, man! We love you, but this ego trip is really cramping my style! Now, seriously, let's go party."

"Damn you!"

"You can't. All right, I'll let you cool off. Come find me when you're feeling better. Love you, ya big lug."

"...That's right. Just walk away this time. But one day I shall rise up and cast out the false gods, for I am Wouhei Vouhei The Great, and I shall smite Mine enemies and establish My house once and for all...."

"Right, sure, ciao! See you in Hell, ha ha ha!"