Never Enough Anti-Mac Dumbasses Department

Today's New York Times features a Yale computer science professor, David Gelernter, who criticizes Apple for not being innovative enough, ignoring the general conservativism of PC manufacturers (is that a FLOPPY I see in that beige box? Aw, how quaint!) and giving charge simply because Steve Jobs is probably the only guy in the industry with the guts to break ranks with that conservativism. Therefore, if this guy's computer revolution doesn't happen, it's Steve's fault.

Gelernter has moxie--he advocates getting rid of the mouse but wants a place to hang up the keyboard when he's not using it. I question his hanging onto this particular technology for computer input. The keyboard layout most of us use today is over 100 years old and was designed to slow down fingers and thus avoid mechanical jams. The Dvorak keyboard is an improvement, yes, but I've always considered the keyboard to be the clumsiest part of a computer setup, even more so than the limited mouse. Even chording keyboards, with astonishing improvements in efficiency and a potentially small footprint, still has a footprint.

Which leads to the bigger problem: We inevitably dedicate a piece of furniture--several pieces in fact--to computers. True, like most desks it invites its own clutter, much of it frivolous, but not before large swaths of surface are claimed for monitors, keyboards, and media--and, unless it's on the ground, the CPU itself.

This is the ultimate problem with computers as they exist today: They occupy space that could be used in more effective ways. Computers are not furniture, Gelernter says, even as he insists on a place to hang his keyboard. I have learned how to navigate around my computer desk and chair at night, but why should I have to accommodate furniture in the first place?

What we want are talking computers that can understand when we're giving it an order and can execute it without much fumbling on the user's end. We want a data jukebox that can be kept out of sight, out of mind, with redundant copies made on the fly so backups aren't so pressing. (Let's face it, most of us take our cars in for a simple oil change, but we're expected to schedule in time to swap media back and forth for a few hours once a month or so.) Have the CPU blend in entirely with the furniture; waterproof it so you could put a planter on it. Make it ubiquitous and invisible, and failing that, at least camouflage it better. Network it with flat-panel screens in each room, so when it must use a monitor, it can simply cut in, display, and then return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

While technology advances have been made in many key areas, we're still a ways off from a computer that can interact meaningfully with a person without some training. That's the remaining barrier to this true computer revolution. Until then, all anyone seems able to suggest is, get a desk and pull a chair up.