I've long thought Harvey Birdman was a sharp, insane mockery-cum-tribute to Hanna Barbara's crappy cartoon heritage, but the first episode of Season 3--which had premiered last Sunday--is perhaps the first one that put me in the mood to make sweet Foghorn-Leghorn weasel noises at Thea. Up until the point that Wally Gator testified while wearing the beer hat. But the scene just before that? YOWZA. That's some fine booty there. I'd throw the shrink-ray in reverse for THAT.
But then I follow it up with a video for Lisa Marie Prestley's cover of the Don Henley song "Dirty Laundry." Damn, she's got her daddy's eyelids--and the high-tops from Katrina and the Waves. Too bad she can't make a song about salaciousness... SALACIOUS. Not even with subliminals, either.
Just sayin'.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Never Enough SubGenius Beach Parties Department
August 21--2 PM til we stagger off blind
Golden Gardens Park
8498 Seaview Pl. NW
Seattle, WA
YOU BRING THE PERSONALITY DISORDERS, I'LL BRING THE CAUSTIC CHEMICAL TANKERS.
Golden Gardens Park
8498 Seaview Pl. NW
Seattle, WA
YOU BRING THE PERSONALITY DISORDERS, I'LL BRING THE CAUSTIC CHEMICAL TANKERS.
Never Enough Long March Bad News Department
In case it is not clear at this point, this year's Long March is a
wash. I strongly doubt that we'll even throw a Short Stroll, although
I still think we should throw a SubGenius Beach Party sometime next month.
For those who sincerely wanted to go, I will be announcing a date
later this year for next year's Long March. We'll have a date well in
advance and worry about logistics later, rather than going the other
way around. I realize that many SubGeniuses have a very rebellious
attitude when it comes to Conspiracy calendars. But Time Control is
not achieved by refusing to be controlled by time. You gotta grab time
by the horns and BLOW BAYBEE BLOW!
Thank you, "Bob," for the lesson, asshole.
wash. I strongly doubt that we'll even throw a Short Stroll, although
I still think we should throw a SubGenius Beach Party sometime next month.
For those who sincerely wanted to go, I will be announcing a date
later this year for next year's Long March. We'll have a date well in
advance and worry about logistics later, rather than going the other
way around. I realize that many SubGeniuses have a very rebellious
attitude when it comes to Conspiracy calendars. But Time Control is
not achieved by refusing to be controlled by time. You gotta grab time
by the horns and BLOW BAYBEE BLOW!
Thank you, "Bob," for the lesson, asshole.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Never Enough Patient Explanations of SubGenius Dogma Department
Many of those who stumble across the Church wind up saying, "Oh, it's funny, I guess, but why do they have to sell memberships? In fact, why do they sell so much useless crap anyway?!?" In their careless blasphemy against our holiest relics they miss a fundamental theological point: our prophet and object of idolization was, is, and will always be the Greatest Salesman Ever. It is our sacred duty to sell, and sell we shall. It brings us closer to "Bob" to hawk items that few would buy, seeing if we can develop the power to sell the unsellable.
(The Dogon, a West African tribe better known for their tales of amphibious intelligences from Sirius-B, is also said to have witnessed a slick-haired, pale-skinned man that belched smoke from a reed held in his teeth, who successfully traded a mound of elephant dung to a swarm of tse-tse flies in exhange for all their maggots. When asked by the Dogon why he would do such an incredible act, he reportedly said he had a wager to win, refusing to say any more, but winking and nudging for hours thereafter.)
One day, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs will eventually sell nothing to something, and everything to everything else, achieving universal symmetry in the Beforelife and beyond, and achieving the eternal Oozquirt we all crave so powerfully. And we Superior Mutants are dedicated to being there. In the meantime, like a cargo cult building model planes from crates to honor the flying gods that drop gifts from the heavens, we too must sell in order to bring Dobbs' sales-driven slack into our lives.
Alas, we suck at selling. Oh, we're doing better than expected by the average Normal, but ultimately we're still not exactly taking over the Conspiracy as fast as we hope. YOU HUMANS SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. At least we know and understand Slack, in some measure--and all we truly want is for a world of slack for all. All those who at least sent in a dollar, anyhow. [Updated 7/20/05]
(The Dogon, a West African tribe better known for their tales of amphibious intelligences from Sirius-B, is also said to have witnessed a slick-haired, pale-skinned man that belched smoke from a reed held in his teeth, who successfully traded a mound of elephant dung to a swarm of tse-tse flies in exhange for all their maggots. When asked by the Dogon why he would do such an incredible act, he reportedly said he had a wager to win, refusing to say any more, but winking and nudging for hours thereafter.)
One day, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs will eventually sell nothing to something, and everything to everything else, achieving universal symmetry in the Beforelife and beyond, and achieving the eternal Oozquirt we all crave so powerfully. And we Superior Mutants are dedicated to being there. In the meantime, like a cargo cult building model planes from crates to honor the flying gods that drop gifts from the heavens, we too must sell in order to bring Dobbs' sales-driven slack into our lives.
Alas, we suck at selling. Oh, we're doing better than expected by the average Normal, but ultimately we're still not exactly taking over the Conspiracy as fast as we hope. YOU HUMANS SHOULD BE SO LUCKY. At least we know and understand Slack, in some measure--and all we truly want is for a world of slack for all. All those who at least sent in a dollar, anyhow. [Updated 7/20/05]
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Never Enough Holographic Televisions Department
Who woulda thunk it. Figures that the military would get the first applications, instead of, oh, porn. (Guess which is less offensive to me. Go on, guess.) But think of the applications...!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Never Enough Space Pioneering Department
The Planetary Society is launching a solar sailthis Tuesday, with deployment of the sail itself next Saturday.
WHOOT.
I'll be watching updates on their blog--conveniently kept in the weblog.
WHOOT.
I'll be watching updates on their blog--conveniently kept in the weblog.
Never Enough Great Blogs Department
I was worried I'd have to start a blog devoted to energy issues. I lucked out.
Never Enough Energy Sunday Linkathons Department
- Cyclists get naked to protest big oil
- God and oil
- EnviroHealth: California's 'Green' Governor
- Record Year For Rise In Global Energy Consumption
- Former Bush Aide Who Altered Climate Reports Hired By Exxon
- U.S. Nuclear Power Plants Insecure, Need Billions
- Britain Announces Fund For Greenhouse Gas Storage
- OPEC Sees Few Options To Tackle High Prices
- Iran And India To Seal $25 Billion Energy Deal
- Words from a different kind of president
- Tippy-tippy-topple ...
- Going down with the ship
- Citigroup Owes $2B To Enron Investors
- JPM-Chase to Pay $2.2b In Enron Suit
- 'Plastic oil' could improve fuel economy in cars
- Hostage-takers demand Shell jobs
- Cognitive dissonance
- Put up your nukes!
- Capturing carbon
- Renewable energy and the devolution of power
- Bush on the energy bill
- Hey Gang! Let's Move to the Moon!
- Delay, Exxon, MTBE, and just ... ew
- Making amends
- $58.60 A Barrel
- NYC Sells Hybrid Taxi Medallions, Won't OK Hybrid Cars as Taxis
- How Bout Those Gas Prices?
- Hydrogen-Powered Motorcycles Just Around the Corner
- U.S. Pressure Weakens G8 Climate Change Proposal
- Power plants and air pollution
- The Analysis Gap
- Global Warmin' Is Fer Idjuts / Exxon writes America's energy policy, BushCo chops up emissions reports. Is there any hope at all?
- Senate Considers $1-Billion Legislation for Diesel Emissions Reduction
Never Enough Rubber Wristbands Department
I know I recently mentioned the Never Surrender bracelet I already wear, but I'm thinking about getting more:
Never Enough... No, Wait, That IS Enough Department
Eight Is Enough was not meant to be an example--or a record to break.
How American--and how irresponsibly wasteful.
How American--and how irresponsibly wasteful.
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