Never Enough Honest Assessments Department

"Working with computers isn?'t quite like biting the head off a live chicken, but it?s close."
--Rudy Rucker

Never Enough Security Hassles Department

It seems that overzealous security guards are still harrassing travellers for dumb reasons. This story reminds me too much of what happened to me back in 2002, when I was returning from X-Day 5. At the Columbus airport security gate I was stopped by guards because of a wall plaque.

This wall plaque, with its simulation cherry wood carved into bat wings, its dumb-looking brass demon head, and its Barbie-doll sized medieval weapons, was considered a potential weapon because I might somehow hurt someone with the tiny mace.

That's what they said. My take? They decided to harrass me because I had something freaky and spooky, plus, being transsexual and dressed in a leather coat in Summertime (hey, it gets COLD when camping!) left me looking like some sort of Trenchcoat Mafia wanna-be. Never mind that the Trenchcoat Mafia weren't involved in the Columbine shootings anyhow. Never mind that the vast majority of metalheads, goths, and similarly morbid-minded folks never commit a crime more serious than smoking pot. Never mind that the vast majority of terrorists and dangerous crazies don't look like a metalhead or goth.

FEH, I say. FEH!

Never Enough Novel Data Collection Department

No doubt you've heard the RIAA and the MPAA complaining about how much money they lose to piracy. And there is little doubt you've heard the counter-arguments along the lines of "try before you buy".

Nuclear Elephant is attempting to collect hard data on the latter. If you ever downloaded something "illegally" from file-sharing services, and liked it so much that you purchased the item "legally", feel free to share your experience! (Where would I start?!?)

And no, no personal information is requested--you will be completely anonymous.

Why did I put the words "illegally" and "legally" in quotes, above? Because the RIAA and MPAA love to scream bloody murder about what they perceive as theft of their product, e.g. others' creative output, while engaging in practices that are technically legal but unprincipled and often unethical. But you knew all this. At least, I hope you did.

If you didn't know, you best check out boycott-riaa.com and the Electronic Frontier Foundation's archive of DMCA articles.

Never Enough Eldricht Slithering Things Department

Funny, but only if you are into H.P. Lovecraft.

Well, depends on your state of intoxication, anyhow.

Never Enough Death Penalty Opposition Department

It appears that, for the first time since Michael Dukakis' disastrous run against George H. W. Bush, the Democratic Party has removed pro-death penalty language in their platform. Gutsy? Yes. Risky? Yes. But I dare the GOP to try to use the death penalty against Kerry.

Why the dare? Because Bush's record on the death penalty while serving as Texas Governor was so heartless that there is a web site dedicated to documenting Dubya's mocking, heartless attitudes towards the condemned--many of whom, on pure statistics alone, were certainly innocent.

Americans may be overwhelmingly (still) in favor of capital punishment for egregious crimes, but even the most stringently law-and-order conservative has to admit that Dubya has shown a remarkable lack of respect for human life. Should the Republicans thus try to use Kerry's opposition to the death penalty against him, they will find themselves hoisted by their own petards. Electrocuted by their own chairs. Injected with their own needles. The metaphors, and the deaths, go on.

Never Enough Capitalist Capitalists Department

"When you lose small businesses, you lose big ideas." -- Ted Turner

The quote above is from an essay Ted Turner wrote on media consolidation. Yes, that's right, the founder of CNN and the Turner empire of cable stations--starting with the Atlanta Superstation nearly 30 years ago--dares to speak on FCC regulations and the concentration of media in few hands.

And, as you can see from the quote, he's not fond of the current landscape. He strongly prefers a landscape where small businesses can become great through their own hard work and creativity, and not through endless cannibalization of other businesses. He even points out, with a nice twist of irony, that Rupert Murdoch wouldn't have reached the point where he can cannibalize other media outlets if it weren't for FCC rules in the first few decades after WWII which encouraged television outside of major corporate control. And he mourns the loss of innovation which has resulted from the loosening of FCC rules on ownership.

If Ted Turner and Rupert Murdoch were ever put into a boxing ring and made to fight to the end, I'd bet my money on Ted. He's got a soul, and that means he can fight with more on his mind than the next million-dollar deal or tax break. Bless him.

Never Enough Anti-Capitalist Capitalists Department

So Halliburton keeps getting into deep trouble for overcharging. Why this is a surprise is not clear to me. After all, Halliburton has proved its total incompetence in details such as delivering food and water to troops. In a true free market system (unlike the one we have now) incompetence on such a pervasive scale would be rewarded in short order with bankruptcy. In order to survive as a business, Halliburton is forced to step out of the realm of free enterprise; croneyism, padding invoices, and government leechery is an inevitable result of a corporation's attempts to escape the financial Grim Reaper. And they are committed to maintain the crookedness. Unlike a somewhat more legitimate business, such as Boeing--which also uses croneyism, invoice padding, and generous government contracts to stay in business--at least Boeing has a legitimate product line. It's much more difficult to see how Halliburton can afford to stay in business without relying on friends in high places and a lack of financial oversight to keep their profit margins overly inflated. Surely no energy corporation interested in longevity can afford to keep the Halliburton hog fattened. I think the time has come for some bacon. Mmmmmmmmmm. Bacon.

Never Enough Frank Exchanges Department

Ooh, such naughty words from the second most-powerful man in American politics! That just won't do at all!

Oddly enough, the Washington Post ran the quote verbatim, without even the typical self-censorship that most newspaper editor f---s employ. Apparently there were a few complaints, including an email that said, "How utterly sad for your fine paper."

Fine paper? What about the fine institution of the Senate, or of the Vice Presidency?

In reality, I am not particulary concerned about the use of any obscenity by any adult. However, it is not hard to see Cheney's outburst as another crumbling brick falling from the tower upon which Bush's presidency stands. So, Mr. Cheney, by all means--cuss like a sailor, every day, from now until November. You deserve the chance to vent that overloaded spleen of yours, given that you aren't getting nearly rich enough off Iraq yet. Curse away! You'll feel better. Especially after Election Day.

Never Enough Reagan Memories Department

Can't remember all the things that Reagan did while in office? Too young to even know what he did? Here's a little reminder. Don't choke!

Oh, for what it's worth, I got zero hate mail for my earlier post. I kinda figured that the notion of some neo-con putting a pillow over Reagan's face would have resulted in some sort of reaction! For shame! Just for that, I'm spanking my readers--both of you. Bend over.

Never Enough Creepy Conspiracies Department

I know it's dreadful to think of such things, but I couldn't help but wonder this morning at the timing of Reagan's death. So far it's provided a respite from talk of Iraq, allowing continuing deaths and strife to be buried under endless eulogies for a man who largely doesn't deserve the praise he is still receiving.

So what if, say, some nameless Bushie paid a visit to Reagan's ranchhouse and, when Nancy wasn't looking, put a pillow over Ronnie's face? You know, just enough to weaken his health further. I can't imagine any conservative (especially neocons) wanting to kill Reagan outright, mind you, but it would be awfully convenient if he did die, just in time to remove some heat from Dubya's failures.

OK, I have a sick sense of humor. Growing up under Reagan/Bush will do that to you. Here's proof.